238. High functioning codependency and caring too much ft. Terri Cole

238. High functioning codependency and caring too much ft. Terri Cole

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it).

In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening!

Buy Terri's new book here: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17

Follow Terri here: @terricole

Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episoder(385)

376. 7 tips for moving to a new country in your 20s

376. 7 tips for moving to a new country in your 20s

Moving to a new city is one of the most exciting (and emotionally challenging) things you can do in your twenties. Whether it’s for work, study, love, or a fresh start, leaving behind what’s familiar ...

19 Jan 32min

375. The psychology of friendship trios

375. The psychology of friendship trios

Navigating friendship in your 20s is already complicated – so what happens when we add a third person into the mix? The group chat might be buzzing, there’s always someone to talk to, and belonging to...

15 Jan 40min

374. The psychology of regret

374. The psychology of regret

In our 20s especially, the fear of regret can seem like every choice has the potential to ‘ruin’ our future - the degree we picked (or didn’t), the person we stayed with, the move we were too scared t...

12 Jan 25min

373. Why rest makes us feel so guilty

373. Why rest makes us feel so guilty

Modern life has a way of making rest feel suspicious. You can be exhausted, finally take a break, and still hear that nagging voice that you should be doing something more. Somewhere along the line, d...

11 Jan 32min

372. How to rediscover your personality

372. How to rediscover your personality

So many of us are coming to the realisation that we don't really know who we are anymore. We spend more time consuming other people's lives and personalities through a screen, than actually living out...

8 Jan 40min

371. The psychology of success

371. The psychology of success

What makes some people successful and others, not? Is it a singular trait, habits, or just luck? In this episode, we break down the psychology and research behind success and what drives successful in...

5 Jan 36min

370. Your year for doing less and achieving more

370. Your year for doing less and achieving more

At the start of every year, I choose a theme - not just goals, but a guiding philosophy. For 2026, that theme is doing less and achieving more. In this episode, we explore why focus beats busyness, wh...

1 Jan 31min

369. Answering your biggest 20s dilemmas ft. the listeners

369. Answering your biggest 20s dilemmas ft. the listeners

In our final guest episode for the year, we're hearing from the listeners! I asked you all to call in with the biggest dilemmas you've had in your 20s; questions you want answered, or just situations ...

29 Des 202542min

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