12. How Can You Discern the Difference Between a Psychopath and An Authentically Kind Person?

(This episode opens with a word of Advice on Monsters, from Dr. Mario.) How do you know you are interacting with a sociopath, a borderline personality, a psychopath, a monster, when at first, they seem so affable, so interested in who you are, so aware of your needs and how to fill them? How do we know that the person next to us who affords momentary relief when our grocery bag rips, or, offers a compliment when we’re feeling glum, is a sociopath rather than a thoughtful stranger? How does one discern between a meddling sociopath, and, an authentically kindindividual who has approached you with genuine interest and compassion?

In this episode and the prior (11), we return to the thread of an earlier narrative, Meet The Psychopath, (in my case, Dr. Mario), to explore the questions posed in this episode. We can only detect someone is a sociopath after several interactions with him/her, and even then, we may not realize we are interacting with a monster. The well-practiced psychopath seamlessly insinuates himself into our lives; into even the most learned person’s life as an undetected toxin. Once this occurs, we are hisprey, henceforth unwittingly serving him….unless, of course, we awake from our state of mesmerization, realizing how we’ve been duped by an imposter.

As a third party in a pathological triangle, (which occurs when the phenomenon of gaslightingis taking place), a person may never discover how they’ve served the monster’s need to sever his prime targetfrom the rest of the world; to punish her/him. They may never realize their sinister alliance with the monster; how they did his bidding for him (see previous episodes for more on gaslighting and, pathological triangles). In responding to the query, how do we know the veracity of the person we’re interacting with, I share a thumbnail version of my own unwitting induction...(see www.monsterstoriespodcast.com, for complete episode notes and links)

This podcast is a production of Honestly Speaking LLC. Suzann Kole, Ph.D. has worked in academe and the mental health field for over 40 years. She holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and Narrative Studies (an area of linguistics).