Attending to the Stories Behind Trauma Cycles in Marriage w/Dan & Becky Allender, 8-9 Pairing

Attending to the Stories Behind Trauma Cycles in Marriage w/Dan & Becky Allender, 8-9 Pairing

Giving space for suffering and holding space for one another, as well as working through life and generational trauma in marriage are essential practices for long-term couples. Almost everyone has been through something hard or incapacitating by the time they are married for any number of years. Today Christa is joined by the esteemed Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, co-founders of The Seattle School/The Allender Center, who in their 8-9 pairing have helped hundreds of thousands of people to overcome issues of trauma of all kinds. They share tips in general and reveal some of their own restorative narratives in their marriage, as well as how to suffer alongside each other and address one's own trauma triggers, which are especially helpful when contempt arises. Dan has authored Healing the Wounded Heart, The Cry of the Soul, and more and Becky has authored Hidden in Plain Sight: One Woman's Search for Identity, Intimacy, and Calling. Together they also offer marriage retreat intensives, courses, and more! Watch on YouTube here! The Allender Center specializes in training pastors, therapists, group leaders, lay counselors, and community and business leaders to understand their own stories to more deeply enter the lives of those they are called to love and serve. We come alongside to equip and develop skills for wading into the difficult waters of heartache, trauma, and abuse. Find their resources, books, and marriage retreat info here. https://theallendercenter.org/ Find Dan's podcast here! Use the code ENNEAGRAM15 to get 15% off of one of their marriage video courses here! To work through your relationship needs, make sure to visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episoder(556)

Help for the Hard Days This Holiday: An E + M Mini-Episode

Help for the Hard Days This Holiday: An E + M Mini-Episode

When something really hard hits you around the holidays, you need both help and hope. Today’s mini-episode delivers both, and adds a spark of joy to ground you as many times as you need it as you refl...

11 Des 202420min

Rewilding Relationships w/Award-Winning Author Lore Ferguson Wilbert, 9w8

Rewilding Relationships w/Award-Winning Author Lore Ferguson Wilbert, 9w8

"The way to unity is not through uniformity, it is through understanding and loving the other." - Lore Ferguson Wilbert. Whether it’s your spouse, family member, or your neighbor, it’s not always easy...

9 Des 202445min

Navigating The Three Enneagram Instincts (Sp, Sx, So) This Holiday: An E + M Mini-Episode

Navigating The Three Enneagram Instincts (Sp, Sx, So) This Holiday: An E + M Mini-Episode

The busy times over the holidays can truly take a person -- and a marriage -- down to an unhealthy level if they're not intentionally stepping into life with faithful steps. Don't miss this refreshing...

4 Des 202412min

Holding to a Posture of Hope Even After Everything This Advent w/Stephanie Duncan Smith, 4

Holding to a Posture of Hope Even After Everything This Advent w/Stephanie Duncan Smith, 4

Advent begins in the dark, and at this weary time of year, we truly need reminders of what we can hope for and how we can remain with one another, despite the hardest hurts that make us want to draw a...

2 Des 202445min

What to Do When There's a Desire Mismatch in Your Marriage

What to Do When There's a Desire Mismatch in Your Marriage

Often couples have a mismatch in their sexual desire, and sometimes that desire is stronger in the females, not just the males, contrary to popular belief, and the reasons are complex, no matter the c...

27 Nov 202414min

Personality and Wholeness: 9 Patterns of Developmental Pathways w/Dr. Dan Siegel, MD

Personality and Wholeness: 9 Patterns of Developmental Pathways w/Dr. Dan Siegel, MD

Relational triggers only get worse when we're not aware of our focus of attention and blind spots. Today we're grateful to have world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, MD, (Harvard Medical School,...

25 Nov 202446min

How Each Type Can Better Communicate with Their Partner: An E + M Mini

How Each Type Can Better Communicate with Their Partner: An E + M Mini

Communication between partners can get very sticky around the holidays so today we’re taking some time to allow you a chance to refresh and review the best ways to communicate as partners of each type...

20 Nov 202414min

Releasing Your Personality Shadows w/Master Enneagram Teacher Leslie Hershberger, Type 7

Releasing Your Personality Shadows w/Master Enneagram Teacher Leslie Hershberger, Type 7

We see others' shadows readily, but seeing and releasing our own shadows is where the real change begins, even as we learn to move beyond our protective but maladaptive shadow responses. Today we talk...

18 Nov 20241h 22min

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