Resolving Sibling Conflict:: Summer of Mentorship Wk 1

David Thomas and I talked for SOOOO long in our interview because he's the BEST. The last part of our convo was specific to handling screen time with boys. The DMA team figured we could shorten the main episode by releasing this part separately. Of course, David and I did not cover every angle of managing technology (people write whole books on that topic). But I hope it helps you feel less alone in the struggle and empowered to do a few things: Create a Family Media Plan (or at least use the media calculator)--see links below Discuss what creative things your family has done outside of screen time. After reminiscing, brainstorm new ideas. Ask your son about one of his favorite video games. Perhaps sit down and play one with him. Let me know how it goes. Links: AAP family media time calculator and Media Plan Among Us game Mafia group game Fortnite  Roblox List of Movie Recs by Raising Boys and Girls (a page on my site, not on IG for you non-Instagram peeps) Time and Space for Flourishing in a Tech World :: Andy Crouch [Ep 208]

26 Feb 202110min

Understanding the emotions of boys is a challenge no matter the age. Anxiety that presents as anger or distraction. Depression shows up as low-grade irritability. David Thomas returns to the show to answer listener questions about all things boy. David is a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville. He has lots of experience counseling families and children and has a set of twin boys himself. We talk about teaching our sons about emotional language, going to counseling, helping sibling relationships, and managing boy energy levels. “I think we need to be clear with boys. I think it's always helpful to use concrete language with them. When we're concise, clear, and concrete, those are kind of three rules of thumb, we can consistently be adopting. The mistake that I think we can make is we kind of soft pedal and dance around things.” If you are a parent of boys, this is an episode for you! Watch for a bonus episode coming out later this week too.   Connect with David:  Website:  raisingboysandgirls.com  Facebook: facebook.com/raisingboysandgirls  Instagram:  @raisingboysandgirls    Links Mentioned:   Ep 119 The Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas Ep 160 Emotional Milestones :: Sissy Goff & David Thomas  BOOK: Are My Kids on Track? by Sissy Goff & David Thomas Ep 260 The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry BOOK: Best Friends, Worst Enemies by Michael Thompson BOOK: Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas Movies & Books Highlights from Raising Boys & Girls MOVIE: Just Mercy VidAngel BOOK: Quiet: The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain BOOK: Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids by Susan Cain Featured Sponsors:  FabFitFun —use coupon code DMA10 for $10 off your first box at www.FabFitFun.com  Function of Beauty — Go to functionofbeauty.com/DMA to take your quiz and save 20% off your order.

22 Feb 20211h 4min

The topic of racial inequality and the need for reconciliation and education on race in America is a BIG. It can seem overwhelmingly big when it comes to teaching our kids how to be allies for people who are different from them.    My guest Kirsten Watson breaks down why we shouldn’t shy away from these conversations, but how to show our children the importance of diversity and how to righteously fight for what's right.    “As a believer, as my sister in Christ, the reason it's so imperative for you to have this conversation with your kids is because when it happens to my kid, when the joke is made, I need your kid to stand up for my kid. Because they know that my kid was made in the image of Christ and they know that God made us all different. That they would stand up for my kid, because my kid is any kid who is not white.”   Having these conversations with our kids and bringing it back to God's truth allows us to change the narrative and raise the next generation to continue to work toward racial unity.   Connect with Kirsten:    Website: https://thewatsonseven.com  Facebook: facebook.com/kirstenwatsonofficial  Instagram:  @_kirstenwatson_    Links Mentioned:   Why or Why Not With the Watsons podcast Please Talk To Your Kids About Race (Podcast ep) Ep 216: Help Your Children Embrace Differences :: Dorena Williamson Ep 261: Racial Healing Starts with You :: Latasha Morrison Ep 282: Many Hues, One Humanity :: Dr. Lucretia Berry “What About Gary” Season 7, episode 10 Black-ish Mom Life Today     Featured Sponsors:  BetterHelp —Go to betterhelp.com/DMA and listeners get 10% off their first month of counseling.  SoulCycle At-Home Bike —Get your SoulCycle at-home bike TODAY by visiting MySoulCycleBike.com/DMA , and use promo code DMA to get a free pair of at-home Select cycling shoes with your purchase.

15 Feb 202141min

My guest Jackie and her husband David always thought they would foster and maybe adopt. After starting a family of their own, fostering siblings for a time and having twins, a viral photo of a malnourished orphan in Ukraine changed everything.  As Jackie and her family prayed for the boy to be adopted and cared for, God spoke to her heart. “There were plenty of reasons that we could come up with, but no real reason that seemed good enough to say ‘no’ to it. So we committed to adopting him. We didn't even know what country he was from to start with people. God just said, that's your son.” After committing to their first adoption, another boy in Ukraine in a similar situation came to their attention. He was soon to “age out” of the adoption system and was desperate for a family. Again, Jackie and her family prayed and again God called them to adopt. Listen to the episode to learn more of Jackie’s story and all that God has done from them simply saying “Yes” to this assignment outside of her own strength. Another reminder not to overcomplicate motherhood, to watch how kids can flourish with love and care.  Here are side-by-side pics of Miles and Jonah from the day of adoption, to 1 year and 2 year anniversaries.  Connect with Jackie:  Instagram: @askvigsadopt  Links Mentioned:   Reece’s Rainbow Joy in Obedience: Adopting the Little Boy in the Pink Shirt The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis TBRI: Trust-Based Relational Intervention® Fostering Together Promise686 Care Communities Featured Sponsors:  Function of Beauty—  Hello Bello—

8 Feb 202155min

Have you read the whole Bible? That was the question my guest Tara-Leigh Cobble struggled to answer while talking to a pastor friend. As she thought back through her life growing up in a Christian home, being involved in church and now working in full-time ministry and she couldn’t say for sure that she’d really read ALL of the Bible.  So she started a chronological reading plan to read it all, even the genealogies. But as she read, Tara had to wrestle with stories she’d never heard from the pulpit.   “I was questioning the Bible because I was reading the Bible and I was questioning not is this true, but is he good? Yeah. Do I like him? My mentor said the places where you have difficulty with God lean in because the good stuff is on the other side of this. The good stuff is on the other side of this struggle.” After completing her own journey of reading the full Bible and seeing scripture and God in a new way, Tara-Leigh created The Bible Recap podcast and book to help others encounter God through his Word. And she’s here to give us a pep talk for reading the full Bible too.  “You behold the living God in scripture, and all of a sudden, instead of feeling burdened by your to-do list, you're going to be buoyed and carried along by the love of the God of the universe and by the person of who he is. And that's what I want you to take away from scripture every day, a vision of the God who loves you and who has already accomplished all that he requires of you.” Connect with Tara-Leigh:  Website:  www.taraleighcobble.com  The Bible Recap: www.thebiblerecap.com  Instagram: @taraleighcobble  Links Mentioned:   The Bible Recap: A One-Year Guide to Reading and Understanding the Entire Bible Listen to the Bible on YouVersion  Featured Sponsors:  Pretty Litter — get 20% off your first order at prettylitter.com with promo code: DMA Thrive Market — join Thrive Market today and get 25% off your first order AND an exclusive FREE gift only at thrivemarket.com/DMA

1 Feb 202141min

Sissy Goff is one of our favorite counselors to have on the show and she’s back with us to talk about her new guide for helping teen girls with worry and anxiety. But beyond that she offers hope and help for all of us as we experience hard emotions in the midst of this pandemic. We talk about strategies for working through worry and anxiety for different ages and stages of kids and for us as moms. And Sissy reminds us to trust our instincts when it comes to helping our kids.  “You are not alone. And as a mom, your gut is your superpower. You are so intuitive and trust your gut on what's going on with your kids and, and have a few people that you trust a lot that you can talk to. Definitely talk about it because anxiety left untreated only gets worse. I'm seeing so much more in the pandemic that it's spilling over into depression.” She also reminds us that asking for help is a brave and often necessary step for helping our kids learn practical ways to fight back when worries come up. Connect with Sissy:  Website: raisingboysandgirls.com Podcast: raisingboysandgirls.com/listen  Facebook: facebook.com/raisingboysandgirls  Instagram: @raisingboysandgirls Links Mentioned:   BOOK: Brave: A Teen Girl's Guide to Beating Worry and Anxiety Ep 141: Raising Girls :: Sissy Goff  Ep 160: Emotional Milestones :: Sissy Goff & David Thomas Bonus Ep: Raising Worry-Free Girls :: Sissy Goff Feelings Chart BOOK Raising Worry-Free Girls Featured Sponsors:  Uncommon Goods--get 15% off at uncommongoods.com/dma FabFitFun--get $10 off your first box using code: DMA10 at fabfitfun.com

25 Jan 202149min

Amber O’Neal describes herself as a homeschooling mama using Charlotte Mason principles in an atmosphere where “Charlotte Mason wears an afro.” She joins me to talk about how she unexpectedly found she loved homeschooling and working to help her kids love themselves and others. “The Holy Spirit is the supreme educator and the Holy Spirit will speak directly and work directly with our children just as he does through us. And that was a total reframe for me because it gave me a lot of freedom and released a lot of pressure for me when I realized that I'm actually not the supreme educator, I am a guide and I'm going to come alongside my child and that my job is not to teach in the traditional sense of teaching, but more to act as a guide.” Amber shares why she’s creating resources for her children and others to share books and history from people of color and the journey she’s been on with her children as she encourages them to embrace their skin color and cultural history.   And her resources and the Charlotte Mason principles aren’t just for homeschooling mamas. She has book lists of great things to read with your children to give them a more holistic view on black history, poetry and culture.  Connect with Amber:  Website: https://heritagemom.com  Facebook: facebook.com/HeritageMomBlog  Instagram:  @heritagemomblog  Links Mentioned:   Amber’s Heritage Packs and more Book Recommendations from Amber About Charlotte Mason Featured Sponsors:  Acorn TV --try it for FREE for 30 days acorn.tv use code: DMA Function of Beauty-- get 20% off first order at functionofbeauty.com/DMA.

18 Jan 202149min

Harville Hendrix, PhD and his wife Helen Hunt, PhD have been helping couples for years as therapists, authors and speakers. They are on a mission to share the concepts of safe conversations with the world. They join me to share how their method can help us have more effective in-depth conversations with our spouse and children. This works every time. It works with parents, with children and couples. It is something that we now know scientifically that if you mirror another person back accurately and with warmth and no judgment, something will happen inside of them. Something marvelous. They model a safe conversation for us and offer a lot of encouragement and hope for couples who are struggling and how “Conflict is future growth waiting to happen.” Harville and Helen have an amazing offer for DMA listeners. Use code DMA on their site at safeconversations.com to get 50% off your choice of SC Essentials or the Ultimate Couples Bundle, both courses will receive free tickets to a live workshop of your choice, a $196 value. Connect with Harville & Helen:  Website:  https://harvilleandhelen.com  Facebook: facebook.com/harvilleandhelen  Instagram:  @harvilleandhelen  Links Mentioned:   Safe Conversations courses: https://safeconversations.com Featured Sponsors: BetterHelp-- visit betterhelp.com/DMA to get 10% off your first month of professional therapy. Warby Parker--Try 5 pairs of glasses at home for free. Go to warbyparker.com/DMA.

11 Jan 202146min