214 SelfWork: Three Ways to Govern Your Emotions (Rather Than Them Governing You)

If there’s ever been a time when we need to manage our emotions, it’s now. None of us are sure what these next few months will bring – or even 2021 – and that’s true on many fronts. So this week’s podcast is on managing your feelings. The term for doing this in psychology is emotional intelligence, aka EQ. Here's the definition: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

Here are the three questions you'll find the answer to today!

1) Does one emotion govern you more than others? And if so, how that might be leading away from actual regulation and more toward instability?.

2) What are some actual things you can do to self-soothe or to learn how to not to react to your emotions, but to respond to them?

3) What to do if you don’t like the way you feel and want to change it.

The listener email today is from someone who strongly related to the fairly recent podcast on trauma bonding. She wanted to know a little more about it – and so I’m answering her question and telling about what I’ve learned both personally and professionally.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Article on leadership and emotional intelligence

SelfWork podcast on understanding and recognizing triggers

SelfWork podcast on becoming an emotional grownup

Dr. Michael Yapko's book Hand Me Down Blues

Daphne Kingma's book Coming Apart

An article in Well And Good about signs that a trauma bond is forming

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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