Choosing to Stay and Navigate Life with a Covert Narcissist

Choosing to Stay and Navigate Life with a Covert Narcissist

I cringe every time I hear someone ask a victim of covert narcissism why they are still there or why they haven’t left. It’s an okay question in the right circumstances. But it is a crushing question in the wrong situation.

In the wrong conversation, this becomes victim blaming.

You aren’t strong enough to stand up for yourself.

You don’t love yourself enough.

You chose this so that’s on you.

If you decide to stay, I can’t help you.

These statements and these attitudes are so painful to someone who is already living in an incredibly painful situation. Making them feel worse is not going to help. When I am in a coaching situation and someone tells me that they really want to stay. I understand this, because so did I. So let’s talk about it.

For those who have left, that was an incredibly tough decision to make. But I want you to understand that for those who stay, this is an equally tough decision to make. To everyone listening who has chosen to stay in their marriage with a covert narcissist, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your choice to stay is not a measure of your strength or worth. It is simply the path you are on right now, and there is no shame in that.

Continue to take care of yourself. Protect your peace. And remember, you have the power to revisit this decision whenever you feel the need. Life is a journey, and you are walking it with courage every single day.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast


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Episoder(434)

The Vampire Effect Part 2: Why You Feel Dead Inside (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

The Vampire Effect Part 2: Why You Feel Dead Inside (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

What if leaving the relationship doesn’t mean you’re free? In this episode, we continue The Vampire Effect series and explore what happens after prolonged exposure to covert narcissistic abuse—when yo...

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The Vampire Effect: How Covert Narcissists Slowly Drain You

The Vampire Effect: How Covert Narcissists Slowly Drain You

What if covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t feel like an attack… but like a slow drain? In this episode, we explore The Vampire Effect—a powerful metaphor that reveals how covert narcissists gradually c...

2 Apr 31min

The War Inside You: Why You Still Miss Them After Covert Narcissistic Abuse (IFS Explained)

The War Inside You: Why You Still Miss Them After Covert Narcissistic Abuse (IFS Explained)

Why do you still miss someone who hurt you? If you’ve experienced covert narcissistic abuse, this question can feel confusing, frustrating, and even shameful. You can see the manipulation, the gasligh...

29 Mar 25min

Covert Narcissistic Abuse: How to Move Forward Without Rushing Your Decision

Covert Narcissistic Abuse: How to Move Forward Without Rushing Your Decision

If you’re trying to heal from covert narcissistic abuse but feel unsure about your next step, this episode will meet you where you are. In part 2 of this CNG Community Chat, we explore what it looks l...

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The War Inside You: Why Part of You Still Misses Them (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

The War Inside You: Why Part of You Still Misses Them (Covert Narcissistic Abuse)

Why do you still miss them… even after everything you’ve been through? If you’ve experienced covert narcissistic abuse, you may find yourself stuck in an internal battle—one part of you sees the truth...

22 Mar 23min

Covert Narcissism: You’re Allowed to Pause Before Deciding to Stay or Leave

Covert Narcissism: You’re Allowed to Pause Before Deciding to Stay or Leave

If you’re in a relationship that feels confusing, overwhelming, or emotionally draining, you may be wondering if you’re dealing with covert narcissism—and whether you should stay or leave. In this par...

19 Mar 31min

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Covert Narcissism Might Be in the Room

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Covert Narcissism Might Be in the Room

Last week’s episode explored why covert narcissism appears to be thriving in today’s culture and the conditions that allow these behaviors to remain hidden. In this follow-up episode, we bring the con...

15 Mar 22min

The Invisible Rulebook: The Strange Rules Covert Narcissists Expect You to Follow

The Invisible Rulebook: The Strange Rules Covert Narcissists Expect You to Follow

In relationships with a covert narcissist, control doesn’t always appear as obvious demands. Instead, it often shows up through a confusing set of small, unwritten "rules" that quietly shape everyday ...

12 Mar 27min

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