No, This is the Special Part

In her wonderful book On Looking, Alexandra Horowitz takes a series of walks in different environments. What does a geologist see on a city block? What does a naturalist see walking through a park? What does a dog see on a short walk around the block? But the most interesting walk was the one Alexandra took with her 19-month-old.

The idea was that she would take her young son and really try on his perspective about the world. So they walk out of Alexandra’s apartment, down the hall to the elevator, down and out of the elevator, and across the lobby to the front door, where they would start the walk. And as Alexandra went to check in with her 19-month-old son as they headed out onto the city street, she suddenly realized...that the walk had begun the second they started getting ready in the apartment.

To an adult, things have official beginnings and ends. Parties have start times. The gift is given when it is unwrapped and opened. A fun family dinner kicks off when everyone sits down. It ends when the last bite of dessert has been eaten. Everything else is prep or clean-up. Of course, this is all a product of our adult labeling-minds. To a kid, anything can be special and fun. A walk doesn’t have to be outside. Dinner can be anywhere and at anytime. How many stories have we heard or pictures have we seen of young children spending hours on Christmas morning playing in the cardboard box that the actual gift came in?

This sincerity and presentness is wonderful. As fathers, we have to appreciate it. We have to encourage it and make sure we don’t crush it with subtle corrections and insistence on the “official” way things are or should be. Most of all, we have to learn from this love of the moment, and add it as much as possible to our own lives. For, the walk truly can begin when the shoes go on, not just when they first hit the pavement.

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