20230414 - How To Embrace Your Experience

I received a note from my neighbours lately which in short said “please stop singing, you are disturbing everyone”. I’ve been singing a lot at home lately, and quite loud as well, so I can understand their frustration. It was an interesting experience to notice the shame that came with being “told off”. For a few days I felt bad just stepping out my door. In my head, the message seemed to be “you are a bad person”. My initial reaction was to apologies, to bend down, to play small and to follow their wish to completely stop singing at home. What was even more interesting was that another part of me could see that my neighbours where expressing some beautiful needs, e.g. the need for calm, ease, inner peace, respect and space. Needs that all people have, me included and it’s easy to empathise with that. I checked in with myself and asked what my needs where. I found the need for self-respect (to not play small and to stand up for myself), to be of positive contribution to others (my neighbours) and connection and mutual understanding. After I connected with myself in this way it was easy to write an answer in which I said that I heard their wish and that I would find another place to do my main practise and also that I can’t stop singing completely but that I will be more mindful about the sound levels. I received a thoughtful text from one of my other neighbours where she expressed her similar wish and explained why this was important for her and she also wished be good luck with my singing. It felt so good to answer from this grown up place inside and not regress back to that child position of feeling small and shameful. As a result of all of this I now feel closer to both myself and my neighbours. This is the power of awareness in everyday life!