520-Melissa Villaseñor-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Who's the Babe Ruth of porn? What are the side affects of Alzheimers medication? Does performing oral on a prostitute present any risk factor?  These are all questions that will be answered on this episode and have you shouting Oh Yoshi Didn't! The great Yoshi Obayashi is back in the Mommy Dome with enough ridiculous tales to fill 5 podcasts, but we crammed them all into this one.  Get ready to laugh, get ready to cry and get ready to be confused by how you should react during any specific segment. This is Yoshi and there are no boundries.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Jun 20152h

You know what I'm saying, we went to Crate And Barrel and really enjoyed all that they have to offer. It's not just a wonderland of white people things, they also have nice toilets.  Do we have a new YKWIS Champ??? LISTEN closely (and count).  Plus FEEFO is back and he's talking about his new sister and we have to tell you - he ISN'T happy. We also discover the funny adult actress who blessed us all with the catchphrase of the year last week and we hope you'll help us meet her.  Do you like spending a dollar? Do you document it when you do? There's a community for you where people just like bore the s**t out of other people with their purchases.  Be the jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Jun 20151h 43min

Your Mom's have been busy, yo. Sorry, Jeans. Sometimes your mothers are out doing so much they have to delay doing what they love most - the Momcast. We've been shooting our pilot and trying to live thru puppyhood. Both are exhausting. PLUS we have some VERY NSFW audio on this one. This episode might seriously be a collection of some of the most sexually offensive clips we've ever played, plus a new one that's going in the vault.  We review the first 10 minutes of a Steven Seagal film that is so bad, so impossibly not put together that after a 3rd viewing we're still not sure what's going on - but Stone Cold Steve Austin is in it too.  You ready to Fill Her Up? We got that too.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Mai 20151h 36min

Pull your Cuban jeans up over your head and get ready to lose your mind. We have the REAL Gloria Estefan on this episode and she is nothing short of epic. We discuss the Miami Fart Machine and the potential it has to revolutionize the music industry. Will we go on tour together? Listen and find out.  Plus we have the original "knowmSayin" and Let Me Tell ya Something, it's really something. Plus ASMR is real (we think) and these whispers might make you feel really special.  And Maria may have finally met her match at Starbucks. A manager gets testy and FIRED?!?! We are dancing the night away to the Conga and hope you love it as much we do.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Mai 20151h 35min

One of the great things about our show is that both Mexicans and Blacks like it. They can both tolerate listening to it and not get upset. It's also what some say about Art Laboe's radio show inside jail.  We got a bunch of prison shout outs, you know what I'm sayin? And we revist some of the all-time great know what I'm sayin's. Shout out to Butter and Mr. Criminal. One love, homie.  Plus, how can you tell when an online fart is manufactured? Is there anything that can be done to PROVE what we're witnessing? We make a plea to you, the little mommy, to help us get a return message from Gloria Estefan. Can you ask her to write back to us? And we're getting another dog - this one won't be a Huxtable. Check out our name options on the show! Be the JEANS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Mai 20151h 18min

We recorded this on Cinco De Mayo so we hope you had a fun, safe time celebrating. We visit some audio of a Mexican gangbanger named "Little Boy" talking about shooting a dude in the face to get you in the mood - Margarita, anyone?! Plus we weigh in on candy bars - are you an immigrant or do you eat what people born 'round these parts eat? We got that Chris Gaines doc you know you wanna hear - Do you LIKE THAT? And it turns out vocal fry isn't just frustrating to friends and family - employers hate it too.  Farts? We got those too.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Mai 20151h 35min

It's true that Choosy Mom's Choose Jif, but REAL Mom's do too. Are you REAL?? ChristJeansa and Tommy return from his birth city and they have some stories. Plane dumps and did you know that coconut butter can be used as a lubricant? Tom's family has tested it.  Pastor Manning lets us inside Starbucks secrets - just how much semen are they putting in your drink?  We have highlights from our LIVE show in Cincy with Geoff Tate AKA Denim on Denim AKA Hot Dogs and Gatorade for LYFE. You'll find out how many hot dogs he's been eating.  We haven't heard back yet from Gloria Estefan, but we're hoping by putting our song out there that she will respond soon.  Love,  The Miami Fart Machine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Apr 20151h 32min

Be careful if you like to drink Starbucks like the mommies do. There's a secret that we've all just learned of and that is that Starbucks coffees and lattes CAN get you pregnant! It's true. Pastor Manning has informed us to just be careful because there are gay men masturbating into your drinks at Starbucks and that's why it's delicious but also dangerous.  Who knew that Shane Lee could be such a polarizing figure?!? We dive into some of the emails from listeners - some weren't too happy with us! Plus is #WipeGate ever REALLY over? This time our closest family and friends weigh in. What does Maria say? Cousin Juli? Even Charo lets us know what time it is.  And the debut of the Miami Fart Machine will surely have you whistling this hit for days to come. Do we have one the top selling artists of all time on the phone? Si, Senora! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Apr 20151h 50min