Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Today I’ve invited two gals to the kitchen table. We’re chatting about some good-hard topics. Like a good workout, this was a conversation we did and didn’t want to have.

Praise the Lord, “shame” is no longer taboo. More and more people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles. And women are finding freedom from the thoughts of unworthiness replaying in their minds.

Since I’m confident Brene Brown’s research and writings stimulated this movement. Here are her words on the topic:

I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive.

In this conversation, Misty, Stephanie & I talk about how often inward shame leads to outward perfectionism. And eventually that can lead to (a new-to-me term) smiling depression.

As women of faith we can take our thoughts of unworthiness and exchange them for the Truth of what Christ has done for us. We can rest in His worthiness on our behalf. And rest in God’s pleasure over us. Believing He is for us and there is nothing we can do to earn or lose His love.

Thank you Misty for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your own struggles and professional insight. May we show one another grace and freedom, so that no one suffers alone. May more women gather around tables and have similar conversations (sign up here to host a GCM podcast club).

In this hour we chat about:
  • Inner shame talk and the burden of unworthiness.
  • Smiling depression
  • Believing the lie of not good enough
  • Becoming aware of our striving to gain worth.
  • What steps to take in healing shame/perfectionism/depression.
  • Finding safe community to be vulnerable.
  • Allowing a counselor to help you find more freedom.
  • What makes someone move through shame and why do others get stuck in it.
  • How shame impacts 17-24 year olds.
  • Two practical activities to increase awareness of other’s love and God’s love towards you.

Episoder(500)

Back-to-School & Tech Toolkit  :: Dr. Kelly Jameson [Ep 422]

Back-to-School & Tech Toolkit :: Dr. Kelly Jameson [Ep 422]

What helped you feel ready for a new school year as a kid? All the supplies purchased and organized? The perfect first-day outfit?  What helps you feel ready for school now, as a mom? How can you advocate for your kids and support their teachers? My guest this week is Dallas-based therapist and speaker Dr. Kelly Jameson. She shares a great set of tools to help us advocate for our children and interact well with teachers and school staff. She also shares her wisdom and experience on how to parent well through our ever-changing technology landscape.  Connect with Dr. Kelly Jameson:  Website: https://drkellyjameson.com/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kellyjamesonPhD/  Instagram:  @DrKellyJameson  Links Mentioned:    Accommodations Sheet Template  Donation for aid to Lahaina Families Related Episodes: How to Stay Calm With School Stress :: Kirk Martin [Ep 88]  Supporting Students with Dyslexia :: Kerri Irvin [Ep 317] Creating Digital Safe Spaces :: Chris McKenna [Ep 360] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

14 Aug 202349min

The Worry-Free Parent :: Sissy Goff [Ep 421]

The Worry-Free Parent :: Sissy Goff [Ep 421]

What percentage of the anxiety you feel comes from parenting?  We are often most anxious about the things we care most about. That is normal! We love our kids and want to nurture and protect them, but we know anxiety isn’t helping us. My guest this week is counselor and parenting expert Sissy Goff. Her new book,  The Worry-Free Parent, is designed to help us recognize how anxiety makes its way into our everyday lives,  process it in healthy ways rather than passing it along to our kids, and connect more deeply and more freely with our kids.   Connect with Sissy Goff:  Website:  https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/raisingboysandgirls/?ref=hl  Instagram:  @raisingboysandgirls  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@raisingboysandgirls  Podcast: Raising Girls and Boys Podcast  Links Mentioned:    The Worry-Free Parent: Living in Confidence So Your Kids Can Too by Sissy Goff  Related Episodes: Getting Brave About Anxiety :: Sissy Goff [Ep 311] Raising Emotionally Strong Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 368] The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry [Ep 260] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

7 Aug 202345min

Remaining You While Raising Them  :: Alli Worthington [Ep 420]

Remaining You While Raising Them :: Alli Worthington [Ep 420]

Have you felt that you’ve lost a part of yourself since having children? Maybe even “lots of”  or “all” the parts? Motherhood changes us - and it should - but we need to consider our own emotional health and well-being just as important as that of our kids. My guest this week, mom, and author Alli Worthington, encourages us to be set free from mom-guilt by dropping some common “good mom”-myths. She invites us into confident motherhood where we can love our kids sacrificially and still stay attuned to our own needs. She even shares her Magic Question Habit to help us see ourselves more clearly.  Alli Worthington is a business coach, speaker, podcaster, and overcomer. Her latest book, Remaining You While Raising Them releases August 8, 2023.   Connect with Alli Worthington:  Website:  https://alliworthington.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alli.worthington  Instagram:  @alliworthington  Links Mentioned:   How to Break Busy :: Alli Worthington [Ep 105] Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood by Alli Worthington   Related Episodes: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Practice Self-Compassion :: Kim Frederickson [Ep 188] Focus on Growth vs. Guilt :: Lisa Bevere [Ep 291]  Manage Your Life With Guilt-Free Confidence :: Christy Wright [Ep 192] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

31 Jul 202347min

The Goal Isn’t Happy Children :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 6 [Ep 419]

The Goal Isn’t Happy Children :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 6 [Ep 419]

How do you give your kids independence? At what stage do you let kids try and fail?  At the heart of parenting is this job: to give our kids the skills they need to live without us. We know that and we still might spend hours in their rooms trying to help them get to sleep or keeping up with their gym clothes or assignments. We bring our own fears or suppositions about the future to bear on their freedoms. Sometimes this is wise, but sometimes we must stop and watch what God is doing in their lives through difficulty.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Related Episodes: Freeing your Adolescents to Step Into Adulthood - Ages and Stages - Teens :: Dr. Ken Wilgus [Ep 382] Doubt, Questions and Your Teen’s Growing Faith :: Mary Jo Sharp [Ep 375] Life-Giving Faith in Every Circumstance :: Lisa Appelo :: Summer of Mentorship - Wk 2  Links Mentioned:   Priscilla Shirer Speaking Over her Boys http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog/gods-word-spoken-over-our-children/ The Global Munchkins on Instagram Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

24 Jul 202336min

That Time We Googled Married Sex :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 5 [Ep 418]

That Time We Googled Married Sex :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 5 [Ep 418]

How do you connect with your spouse? And how often?  It’s easy for us to get busy parenting and adulting and then take our marriage relationship for granted. We may think we’ll focus on it when things slow down or the kids aren’t so needy, but actually, a healthy marriage is a great help to our kids.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Related Episodes: Nurturing Your Marriage :: Brent and Janis Sharpe [Ep 299]  Embracing Your Power in Marriage :: Dr. Juli Slattery [Ep 346] Building Strong Marriages :: Kimberly Beam Holmes [Ep 374]  Links Mentioned:    Genesis Women’s Shelter  Love Nuggets Episode [Ep 299] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

17 Jul 202341min

Relationship + Respect (8 going on 18) :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 4 [Ep 417]

Relationship + Respect (8 going on 18) :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 4 [Ep 417]

What do you do when your kids are a little sassier than necessary?  How do you respond? Can we shape their responses? When does it really matter? To answer those questions we need both perspective and wisdom.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Related Episodes: 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns and Arguments :: Kirk Martin [Ep 139] The Legacy of a Calm Father :: Kirk Martin [Ep 139]  The Respect Effect :: Emerson Eggerichs [Ep 122] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

10 Jul 202331min

The Unicorn That is Adult Friendship :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 3 [Ep 416]

The Unicorn That is Adult Friendship :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 3 [Ep 416]

Who are your close friends? What do you do to cultivate friendships in your life? Friendship as an adult can feel like we’re unicorn-hunting, clinging to some childhood ideal or tv show standard. But real life friendship requires risk and it can come and go in seasons. And it is so worth it.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot. Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized Links Mentioned:    Find Your People by Jennie Allen  Related Episodes: Be Vulnerable, Find Your People :: Jennie Allen [Ep 354]  Friendship is Hard :: Amy Weatherly & Jess Johnston [Ep 350] Healing from Broken Friendships :: Shundria Riddick [Ep 321] Helping Our Kids Foster Friendships :: David Thomas & Sissy Goff [Ep 338] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

3 Jul 202341min

Raising Kids Who Can Stand Alone :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 2 [Ep 415]

Raising Kids Who Can Stand Alone :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 2 [Ep 415]

What do you feel when your child is struggling? How do you decide when to step in?  Whether it's fighting for your attention from a new baby or struggling with a new skill there are times for us to intervene and there are times for us to let our kids be uncomfortable. Yes, because we’re limited, but also because, as our summer of mentorship guest puts it, “If I want to raise kids that can stand alone, then I've gotta let them.” We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized Related Episodes: Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim & Lynne Jackson [Ep 126] 5 Principles to Guide Motherhood :: Rosemary McFadyen [Ep 44] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

26 Jun 202334min

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