22 Nov 2022

“Fawning”—A Response to Trauma

In the face of trauma and conflict, some people respond with anger, some respond by fleeing . . . and some, like Person A, respond with a flood of appeasing, soothing, and conciliatory behavior. “Fight or flight” is an option for some people, but for those with a history of trauma, another option when faced with threat is to go into fawning mode and try to make it all better.

Picture an animal defensively rolling onto its back, trying to appear as meek and agreeable as possible so that it’s spared by a powerful predator. Fawning is an attempt to fly under the radar rather than engage in conflict. It’s a way of deflecting attention.

In a crisis or disagreement, is your first instinct to soothe, calm, or please others?

Do you do anything to avoid conflict—even if that means ignoring your own needs?

In a stressful interaction, is your focus on other people’s emotions?

Fawning behavior is actually a kind of trauma response. This behavior, in other words, is something you might have learned in childhood, where “rolling over” this way was the only thing that helped you survive conflict.

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

#Fawning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #Trauma #DefenseMechanism #Conflict

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(244)

Why Your Questions Keep Conversations Shallow

Tired of small talk? Want to move past surface-level chats and actually connect with people? Learn how to ask better questions that make people feel valued and eager to share. Patrick King shares spec...

11 Aug 24min

Awkward Silences Aren't the Problem — Running Out of Things to Say Is

You're mid-conversation and suddenly—silence. If social anxiety creeps in when talk stalls, conversation threading fixes that. This is the practical technique for asking connected questions that keep ...

16 Jul 39min

Follow-Up Questions That Make People Want to Keep Talking

00:01:00 Chunking Up and Chunking Down 00:10:27 We’ve discussed a few methods 00:14:51 Let's summarize these with the primary takeaways from this episode. Behavioral Tells: Read the Hidden Signals Be...

1 Jul 15min

Why Your Questions Are Making People Like You Less

00:00:54 The Art of Asking the Right Questions 00:01:51 The Kipling Method 00:08:38 Assumptive Questions 00:12:29 Here are the main takeaways from today's episode. Behavioral Tells: Read the Hidden S...

24 Jun 13min

How To Spot A Fake Friend By Noticing The Baseline Shift

Unlock the hidden code behind human behavior—before it costs you opportunities, relationships, and influence.Most people think they’re good at reading others. They’re not. They project, assume, and mi...

15 Jun 25min

The Power of Gaze: Decoding Dominance and Flow in Group Dynamics

00:00:27 Behavioral Tells is the new book from Patrick King. 00:01:23 Watch Where Attention Flows 00:03:03 The VDR is a way to visualize attention 00:09:32 Understanding “Group Flow” 00:18:32 Here are...

11 Jun 19min

Why You Can't Always Trust Facial Expressions

00:01:04 Why You Can’t Always Trust Facial Expressions00:07:25 Let's take a look at the main takeaways from today's episode.Behavioral Tells: Read the Hidden Signals Behind Every Action. What People R...

1 Jun 8min

Vulnerability's Timing: Share, Don't Spill

Unlock the secret to becoming more likable by mastering vulnerability's timing in our latest episode! You'll learn how to share modest pieces of your truth that align perfectly with the conversation a...

11 Mai 6min