SelfWork 160: The Sexless Marriage. Is There A Way Back?

SelfWork 160: The Sexless Marriage. Is There A Way Back?

Welcome to 2020 and more SelfWork!

First, thank you to everyone who’s purchased Perfectly Hidden Depression and left reviews. Those show up on Amazon as a verified purchase and are extremely important offering even more validity. So if you’ve been reading PHD, and when you’re done, two sentences on what you experienced would be extremely gratifying.

Today we’re talking about the lack of sexual intimacy that so many couples are experiencing; in fact, research shows that 15 to 20% of committed relationships or marriages had become rarely if ever sexual. We’ll touch on ten of the most common reasons I've seen; some are probably familiar, some may be painful to hear, but some may surprise you.

The listener email today is from a man who’s befriended someone with chronic abuse in her past (with a diagnosis of C-PTSD) and asked me for advice on how he can help.

Important links:

In the US, the sexual abuse hotline number for the US

Dr. Pat Love's Hot Monogamy

Research study on pornography addiction

HuffPost article on the sexless marriage

You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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Episoder(554)

504 SelfWork: Your Questions and Answers: Is Anorexia Back "In", Borderline Moms, and Mother/Son Enmeshment

504 SelfWork: Your Questions and Answers: Is Anorexia Back "In", Borderline Moms, and Mother/Son Enmeshment

Dr. Margaret will focus today on questions and answers that listeners have sent her by either voicemail or email. First topic for today: Is anorexia back "in" as beautiful? Second: Why could you be...

26 Jun 23min

503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith

503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith

Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enn...

19 Jun 47min

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it? ...

12 Jun 47min

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity. ...

9 Jun 44min

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a plac...

5 Jun 22min

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin. He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor. To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show ...

28 Mai 46min

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their j...

22 Mai 22min

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both...

15 Mai 44min

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