165 SelfWork: The Deep Mourning of Sudden Death: When Time Will Not Stop

165 SelfWork: The Deep Mourning of Sudden Death: When Time Will Not Stop

Kobe Bryant's family is only one of the many families who have to face an extremely harsh tragedy - the traumatic death of someone they love. There is a difference in this kind of grief because it's traumatic in the most pure sense. One second your world was safe, known and secure. And the next, it was not -- due to an extremely dramatic and out-of-the-ordinary experience that induces grief, disbelief, shock, fear, panic, or terror. There's not anything you can do about the loss. But there is something you can do, as well as things that are definitely not helpful. So we'll talk about it today on SelfWork.

The listener email is from someone who asked how she could ever rid herself of a shame she has carried “from birth.” I didn’t understand so reached out to her for more explanation. Her answer as fascinating to me because after her explanation, it was clear to see that the shame didn’t belong to her at all.

Important Links:

A very moving article on the "seven others on board" as people began writing about their lives, as well as their loved ones whose lives have been shattered.

CNN writer Pat Etheridge's article on how sudden death involves trauma

Definition of trauma by the APA

A wonderful book: “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner

Another helpful read: Toxic Parents

You can hear more about trauma and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Episoder(562)

512 SelfWork: CBT for Insomnia and Its 100% Effective Cure: Dr. Nick Wignall

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21 Aug 28min

511 SelfWork: Emotional Fitness and Being The Hero Of Your Own Life: Dr. Nick Wignall

511 SelfWork: Emotional Fitness and Being The Hero Of Your Own Life: Dr. Nick Wignall

Dr. Nick Wignall speaks about the vital importance of emotional fitness and becoming the hero of your life. This whole concept is intriguing and suggests that finding and maintaining your own sense of...

14 Aug 34min

510 SelfWork: Ted Lasso, The Pandemic and The Power of Secrets

510 SelfWork: Ted Lasso, The Pandemic and The Power of Secrets

This week – in fact to be punctual about it – on August 5th, 2026 – the first episode of the new Ted Lasso season was released. Today, we're going to focus on the meaning of so many of Ted Lasso chara...

7 Aug 21min

509 SelfWork: EMDR Therapy: How It Can Help Fill Emptiness and Release Grief with Dr. Laurel Parnell

509 SelfWork: EMDR Therapy: How It Can Help Fill Emptiness and Release Grief with Dr. Laurel Parnell

EMDR Therapy is known for its treatment of trauma. Dr. Laurel Parnell teaches and demonstrates how it can be healing for emptiness and grief - when relationships were never loving and for when they're...

31 Jul 43min

508 SelfWork: The Eye-Opening Grief of Disillusionment and Heartbreak

508 SelfWork: The Eye-Opening Grief of Disillusionment and Heartbreak

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24 Jul 20min

507 SelfWork: How to Effectively Talk To A Perfectionist

507 SelfWork: How to Effectively Talk To A Perfectionist

The subject for today is how to talk with a perfectionist about your concern for them. Or if you’re the perfectionist, how to allow someone into your world enough for you to hear that concern. I'll of...

17 Jul 22min

506 SelfWork: Therapy Harm: Straight Talk with Dr. Patricia Dixon

506 SelfWork: Therapy Harm: Straight Talk with Dr. Patricia Dixon

Today psychologist and mental health advocate Dr. Patricia Dixon is shedding light on the often misunderstood concept of “therapy harm.” She explains what it is, how it can happen even with the best i...

10 Jul 39min

505 SelfWork: What's The Most Recent News For Depression Sufferers in 2026?

505 SelfWork: What's The Most Recent News For Depression Sufferers in 2026?

What's the most recent news for depression sufferers in 2026? That's the question Dr. Margaret researched today. Some new treatments are available now; some are still trying to get FDA approval. But ...

3 Jul 20min

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