Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship8 Apr 2025

#141 - The White Lotus Friendship Trio: Lessons for Your Real-Life Friendships: Rebekah Jacobs

It's a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.

The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (Dear Nina's assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.

A big point that Rebekah and I agree on: Not all friendship triangles are bad! YES, even this particular trio has us defending friendship triangles. No friendship "shape" is good or bad. How individuals behave creates healthy or unhealthy friendships!

WHITE LOTUS INSPIRED FRIENDSHIP ADVICE WE DISCUSSED:

Think carefully before sharing information with a friend. (Kate telling Laurie about Valentin)
Be vulnerable sooner than you think. (Laurie didn't have to wait until the last night of the trip.)
Be direct, not passive-aggressive. And don't assume friends can read your mind.
Apologize and accept apologies when they're genuine
Friends don't always have to be on the same page about everything
Give your friends grace to mess up/ let some things go
Friends are not necessarily mirrors of each other
Allow friends to change and grow
Know the difference between gossip vs. genuine care and concern
Give old friendships some of the fun, ease, and benefit of the doubt we give fresh, new friendships (Chelsea/Chloe vs. the trio of old friends)
Don't a friend to meet every need
Truth daggers hurt. You can be honest with your friends without being cruel.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

You're the Only One I Can Tell by Deborah Tannen
Episode 136: Your 3-5 Closest Friends

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!

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