411: You’ve Gotta’ Optimize
Dear Hank & John23 Apr 2025

411: You’ve Gotta’ Optimize

Can sharks get tuberculosis? Why create your own products rather than promote existing products? Where did I exist before I was born? How do I deal with fear of missing out on memes? Is this a sleep podcast or a workout podcast? How do bones heal? Why are envelopes the size they are? How big and dense are neutron stars? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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Episoder(439)

381: Until Oblivion Hits

381: Until Oblivion Hits

Why do humans have butts? Why does John sound weird this week? What should a delivery driver do when a dog escapes? How many humans have ever been 30? How do I handle my drinking problem? Why do leave...

31 Jan 202443min

380: GreenChat 2024

380: GreenChat 2024

What's up with the Green brothers in 2024? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearh...

10 Jan 202449min

379: Rainbow Moon

379: Rainbow Moon

Where is the bit line? Why are some jenga blocks harder to pull than others? Would the moon be the same brightness if it was a different color? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of d...

20 Des 202357min

378: Pelican Dream Chat

378: Pelican Dream Chat

Are orcas the only animals that sink ships? Will vodka give flowers a second wind? Hank and John Green have answers!  If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for...

13 Des 202339min

377: Dear Hank and John: Taylor's Version

377: Dear Hank and John: Taylor's Version

How do I get my significant other on board with Taylor Swift? Would Taylor Swift be a good president?  Will you rerelease the Eras Tour Pizza John shirt? What's your opinion on Napoleon Dynamite?  Han...

29 Nov 202350min

376: Death of the Dad Joke

376: Death of the Dad Joke

Do my pets have better circulation than me? What's the organizational structure of an anarchy club? What are your hiatus T-Swift thoughts? How do I return a key to someone I don't talk to anymore? Why...

15 Nov 202345min

375: The Water Episode

375: The Water Episode

Why is unsalted water called freshwater? How long would it take to drink a swimming pool? How do I gently reject a fish? What size are we on the scale of the universe? Can I eat misdelivered food? How...

8 Nov 202341min

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

374: Shorter, And Worse, But More Authentic

Hey, what's up with the podcast now? How do I destroy a thatched roof in a wind tunnel? Hank and John return from a brief hiatus to give you all these answers and more! If you're in need of dubious ad...

25 Okt 202354min

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