Can You Really Change Your Personality? Do You Really Even Want To? w/ Olga Khazan

I recently watched a little of a movie called “Above The Shadows” where after the death of her mother, a girl fades away until nobody notices her and she is in essence, invisible. But she still exists. Still goes about life. As we talk about changing ourselves and who and how we want to be, I intrigue myself with the exercise of considering how you would be if there were not “who.” You were anonymous. There was no persona and no ego, leaving you to only do what your head and heart wanted. You would receive no blame and no credit. How would your behaviors and actions change? Let’s talk through it Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Des 202413min

As we look at personal change, I feel it’s an important distinction to consider whether we want to change who we are, or how we are. I think we often feel ok about who we are at heart. We know we are striving to do good and we mean well and we aren’t looking to become some totally different person. However, we also feel dissatisfied with some of the results we are getting and wonder what actions and behaviors might get us better results. Let’s look at some ideas around still being who we are, but adjusting how we are being. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Des 202413min

In my previous episode with Karden Rabin, co-author of The Secret Language of The Body, he told the story of adopting the persona of an a-hole and making fun of others for a laugh, until he was 19 years old. And then, he changed his entire persona. Chances are though, you don’t view yourself as being a jerk. You’re ok with yourself overall, but you’d like better results from your life. You’d like more happiness and peace. So do you really want to change? Or do you just want different results? I find it is an important distinction to think through to discern what you are actually striving to achieve for yourself. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Des 202410min

On September 9, 2024 we published a show titled, Your Nervous System Is Controlling You & How To Master It. My guests were Jennifer Mann and Karden Rabin and my muse was their new book, The Secret Language of The Body. In our long conversation, Karden brought up his “Emotional Cold Plunge” exercise and I was incredibly intrigued. He gave me access to his community at somiainternational.com/ which I joined and went through the exercise. I ended up engaging more and just felt really attracted to Kardin’s guidance and spirit and found myself wondering how he had ended up where he is today. HIs bio says, Karden is a nervous system medicine practitioner and an expert in the fields of trauma and psychophysiological disorders. Over the last fifteen years he has combined principles of bodywork, brain retraining, and somatic trauma therapies and helped thousands of clients across the globe heal from chronic pain and illness. Karden is the Co-Founder of SOMIA and a regular contributor to Bessel Van Der Kolk’s Trauma Research Foundation and has led programming for The Wounded Warrior Project and Starbucks. But what you are about to hear is that Karden had severe asthma and almost died. He was very neglected as a child and often in tears, bored, and alone in his pain. From this, up to age 19, Karden says he became, an asshole. A bully. He was mean and used cleverness and criticism like a sword.Being a poser was identity and he worked to get tablescraps of validation from cool kids. He was good at making fun of people to get a laugh. But then…something happened. Something that drove him to become obsessed with uncovering the physics of what drives people and discovering the laws that no one is immune to. Today his ambition is to help as many people as possible. I bring you this story because I think you will resonate and it will help you see and understand yourself better, and how you can take your pain and heal it as you help relieve people of theirs. Find him at @KardenRabin Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Des 20241h 39min

Every Monday I bring you an author with a new book. But in my personal studies, I’m just as equally reading and rereading books from years past. Classics, in my opinion. In 2010, Greg McKeown published his book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, and it quickly became a classic. He became an instant guru on looking at our lives and our work and asking, “What is really essential?” I sat down with Greg and Tom Ziglar a few years back to understand essentialism better. You will hear, it is not about minimalism. It’s more about making the right and best decisions. Putting decisions to extreme tests. Being in control. Greg says that in an emergency, “Everyone is an essentialist.” We get on task, on target, divest ourselves of non-necessities, and do what is most efficient, effective and successful. So can you really live every moment like that? Let’s see. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Des 20241h 14min

I’m wrapping up this series that started with Julia Baird australian journalist, broadcaster, author and host of the Not Stupid podcast. About the message in her brand new book: bright shining: how grace changes everything, and I got to thinking about when I've actually learned something. When I’ve been influenced to make a change. Has it come from war or peace? From everything that is not grace, or…grace? Thinking through it was really convicting for me and leads me to feeling that for the most part, grace is the only way to change the course of anything or anyone. Let’s see what you think as I share Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Des 202413min

I grew up with a mom who said, “Major on the majors, not on the minors.” Meaning to not make a big deal about small things. I ended up being a profound minimizer who was very conflict averse and didn’t make a big deal about anything. Not outwardly at least. But it was a big deal internally and I took myself to burnout and bitterness. It brings into question our personal boundaries, and what is and isn’t important enough to take issue with. Let’s think through it for ourselves here. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Des 202411min

In the last episode we talked about grace. I want to give focus to judgment, and I mean towards people. The word in today’s culture has a negative connotation. “Who are you to judge!” is often thrown out. And yet I experience our culture as more judgmental than ever. I know I have been for much of my life, and I don’t see that it improved my life or anyone else’s. What interests me is, what drives judgment in us? What is fueling it? My muse for the topic is Julia Baird, journalist, broadcaster, author and host of the Not Stupid podcast. Her brand new book is, bright shining: how grace changes everything, and I want to ponder this idea of judgment with you. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Des 202411min