ADHD, autism, and the pressure to be “man enough” (Shane Thrapp’s story)

Shane Thrapp always felt different. As an adult, he found out he has both ADHD and autism — two parts of his brain that sometimes work against each other.

In this episode, Shane shares the weight of masking his symptoms, and how society’s ideas about “real men” can make it even harder to speak up. Today, Shane is helping other men with ADHD as the Operations Director of the Men’s ADHD Support Group. He’s on a mission to show that being yourself shows more strength than pretending to be someone you’re not.

Related resources

• What is AuDHD?
• The Men’s ADHD Support Group

Timestamps

(01:19) Shane’s ADHD and autism diagnoses story

(05:48) The three-way battle between ADHD and autism

(09:12) How is Shane as a boss?

(10:21) Learning social cues, trying on identities, and societal expectations

(15:04) The Men’s ADHD Support Group, and building a community that supports each other in healthy ways

(18:34) The biggest misconceptions about men with ADHD

(21:38) Building a world that’s better for his children

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! Show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at adhdaha@understood.org or record a message for us here.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.

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