When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily teams up with Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and trauma expert, to tackle one of the most common relationship challenges: when sex starts feeling like just another item on your to-do list. From exploring why intimacy can lose its spark to practical strategies for reigniting desire, this conversation gets to the heart of what happens when pleasure becomes obligation. We dive deep into the psychology behind sexual disconnection, examining how stress, routine, and unspoken resentments can transform what should be joyful into something that feels burdensome. Dr. Scott shares insights on nervous system regulation and how our bodies respond when we're overwhelmed, while Dr. Emily offers practical advice on communication, scheduling intimacy, and the importance of prioritizing pleasure throughout the week—not just in the bedroom. This episode addresses the reality that many couples face: mismatched libidos, the pressure to perform, and the challenge of maintaining sexual connection amid life's demands. We explore how to shift from duty-based sex to desire-driven intimacy, the role of variety and spontaneity in long-term relationships, and why "priming for pleasure" throughout the week is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - When Sex Becomes a Chore 03:00:00 - The Psychology of Sexual Obligation06:41:00 - Mismatched Libidos and Relationship Dynamics 08:26:00 - Breaking the Routine: Adding Variety and Play 11:07:00 - Communication vs. Avoidance in Sexual Relationships 15:38:00 - Priming for Pleasure Throughout the Week 18:06:00 - Scheduling Sex: Intentional vs. Spontaneous Intimacy 23:10:00 - From Duty to Desire: Practical Strategies 28:14:00 - Building Anticipation and Connection 30:04:00 - Redefining Sexual Success and Satisfaction Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner or just want to prevent sex from becoming routine, this episode offers compassionate guidance and actionable strategies for reclaiming the joy and connection that intimate relationships can provide. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

Episoder(1522)

Episode 348 - The Future of Fellatio

Episode 348 - The Future of Fellatio

Emily helps teaches a kissing workshop at Good Vibrations. A guest on the show askedher to be his demonstration model. Emily agreed to kiss him in front of a classroom of people (all for the sake of helping people of course). Her advice: kiss your partner the way you want to be kissed. Ask them to kiss you back in the same way and then switch. Also, the future of fellatio is an Masque oral gel strip that tastes like Mango. Emily gives tips on oral sex and open-relationships without jealousy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Des 201133min

Episode 344 - Why They Didn't Call

Episode 344 - Why They Didn't Call

Emily knows that men fake orgasms too but proclaims they aren’t as good as it as women. Emily talks about how to have more confidence and the stuff you should never say on a first date. Also, why they didn’t call you back - unless they have amnesia, it's usually not because they lost your number. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25 Nov 201145min

No on fake O

No on fake O

Sorry guys, she might have faked it. Emily and her assistant Kelsi talk about why women fake it and how to tell if she's not really orgasming. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Nov 201121min

Episode 339 - Kinky

Episode 339 - Kinky

Adult film star Pony from Kink, says she’ll try everything twice. Emily and Pony talk about polyamorous relationships, BDSM for beginners, getting shocked by tasers for pleasure (not for resisting arrest), and Divine Bitches. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Nov 201133min

Episode 336 - 7 Year Itch

Episode 336 - 7 Year Itch

Emily is excited because she has lots of dates coming up. Hopefully none of them are living with their mother. Also, science gets closer to understanding the female orgasm. Family law attorney Erik Newton joins the show and talks about the truths behind the "7 year itch” in marriage, Facebook's influence on divorce, and what you have to discuss with your partner before getting married. Also, can making a prenuptial agreement be romantic? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Nov 201159min

Episode 335 - Tips From A Sultry Vixen: Jessica Drake

Episode 335 - Tips From A Sultry Vixen: Jessica Drake

Emily talks with vixen Jessica Drake about Wicked Sex, anal sex tips and butt plugs. Emily and Menace debate whether men are intimidated by successful women and if the notion ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ is true. Also, hand job fetishes, and special positions for giving fellatio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Nov 201148min

Episode 331 - Rough Sex... and Rougher Sex!

Episode 331 - Rough Sex... and Rougher Sex!

Emily has a blind date and divulges about what she really does at night. Menace plans his dream wedding and Emily talks shotgun weddings. Also, extreme manscaping and etiquette for rough sex, including but not limited to spanking, wrist holding, hair pulling, and biting. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Nov 201146min

Episode 330 - How to Successfully Date Online

Episode 330 - How to Successfully Date Online

Online dating is about marketing yourself. The first message you send someone is extremely important. Be specific and show them that you have common interests. Emily gives essential online dating advice to improve your experience and success rate. Emily and Menace discuss the best famous landmarks to do it at, the pros and cons of dating a criminal, and should you tell her about your foot fetish? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Nov 201152min

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