When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

When Sex Feels Like a Chore: Reclaiming Pleasure and Connection

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily teams up with Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and trauma expert, to tackle one of the most common relationship challenges: when sex starts feeling like just another item on your to-do list. From exploring why intimacy can lose its spark to practical strategies for reigniting desire, this conversation gets to the heart of what happens when pleasure becomes obligation. We dive deep into the psychology behind sexual disconnection, examining how stress, routine, and unspoken resentments can transform what should be joyful into something that feels burdensome. Dr. Scott shares insights on nervous system regulation and how our bodies respond when we're overwhelmed, while Dr. Emily offers practical advice on communication, scheduling intimacy, and the importance of prioritizing pleasure throughout the week—not just in the bedroom. This episode addresses the reality that many couples face: mismatched libidos, the pressure to perform, and the challenge of maintaining sexual connection amid life's demands. We explore how to shift from duty-based sex to desire-driven intimacy, the role of variety and spontaneity in long-term relationships, and why "priming for pleasure" throughout the week is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - When Sex Becomes a Chore 03:00:00 - The Psychology of Sexual Obligation06:41:00 - Mismatched Libidos and Relationship Dynamics 08:26:00 - Breaking the Routine: Adding Variety and Play 11:07:00 - Communication vs. Avoidance in Sexual Relationships 15:38:00 - Priming for Pleasure Throughout the Week 18:06:00 - Scheduling Sex: Intentional vs. Spontaneous Intimacy 23:10:00 - From Duty to Desire: Practical Strategies 28:14:00 - Building Anticipation and Connection 30:04:00 - Redefining Sexual Success and Satisfaction Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner or just want to prevent sex from becoming routine, this episode offers compassionate guidance and actionable strategies for reclaiming the joy and connection that intimate relationships can provide. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

Episoder(1521)

Episode 318 - Carnal Confessions

Episode 318 - Carnal Confessions

Emily reads carnal confessions from the SWE Treasure Island Music Festival Booth. Apparently, most people like it in the butt. Emily and Menace discuss if it’s ever okay to  use a coupon on a first date. Also, Social networking sites that can help get you laid, dating younger men, why you should say yes to every invitation, Sesame Street gets sexy, and having sex while skydiving? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Okt 201154min

Monday Manscaping

Monday Manscaping

Emily talks with guest Anthony Sosnick, founder of Anthony Logistics for Men, about grooming essentials and practices, the Sex with Emily "Carnal Confessions" booth at Treasure Island Music Festival, extreme sex confessions, How do you tell your partner to groom "down there,"? Menace explains why he strongly dislikes drunk white girls and the best products to manscape your body. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Okt 201150min

Sex Without Penetration

Sex Without Penetration

Emily attends a class on non-monogamy, how to overcome jealousy, Emily plays with her sex school friends, Google calendars to schedule sex with multiple people, is cheating genetic?, having bad gaydar, the morning after pill and the royal wedding, what's the best kind of orgasm, how to get through a break-up, how to start a new relationship, masturbating in front of your partner, the vagus nerve that makes you orgasm, nude beaches, smoking and sexual performance, Menace's date ideas, how to have a successful long distance relationship, phone sex and sex simulation: how to have sex without penetration. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Okt 20111h

Back Door Man

Back Door Man

What's sexy about having sex in nature?, Menace's worst phone sex fear, when men get bored with sex, the hottest and cheapest date idea for the weekend, how can you have sex at 85mph?, did Emily helped SF to become the most promiscuous city?, what happened with Menace's previous engagement?, Emily loves her new pet name, "Princess Emily," ways to work around foot fetishes, being in a relationship without the commitment, how to suggest anal play to your partner, the essential tool to use every time for backdoor sex, the number one rule to make it pleasurable and how to get the most out of it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Okt 201159min

The Tao of Dating

The Tao of Dating

Emily talks with guest Dr. Ali Binazir about his book The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible, do long-distance relationships actually work?, a little known aphrodisiac, why men love sensual women, how to have enlightened self-interest, the pros and cons of online dating, the three "C's" of dating and tips for getting the guy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Okt 201157min

Episode 309 - Hot Sex

Episode 309 - Hot Sex

Emily's co-author Jamye Waxman talks about their book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, first masturbation experiences, if you really love someone do you swallow?, pubic hair trends and armpit hair, how to get more foreplay, the two most important things for anal sex, how to touch breasts, taking it slow, men who love the vagina vs. men who don't, threesome etiquette, shower sex and can you teach someone to be a better kisser? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Okt 201157min

Ultimate Guide to O

Ultimate Guide to O

Emily talks with Mikaya Heart, author of The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women, all about orgasms including: being in your body during sex, observing your energy flow to reach orgasm, using a vibrator during intercourse, why goal oriented sex doesn't work, the biggest relationship killer, G-spot orgasms, why shallow sex can be better for women, focusing on your body during sex, the "elusive" orgasm, female ejaculation, mixing up your sexual repertoire, multiple orgasms, and hanging out in the "golden light" after orgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Okt 201155min

Sex Myths

Sex Myths

Why San Francisco is the most sexually promiscuous city, women dressing up as sexy Star Wars characters, sexting ex's, who doesn't?, it's sex toy day at the Sex With Emily office, is a wingwoman better than a wingman?, female erogenous zones you didn't know about, G-spot parties, women who orgasm from nipple play alone, sex myths debunked. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Okt 201158min

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