212. "He's terrified of losing it all—so she's losing him"

212. "He's terrified of losing it all—so she's losing him"

Vanessa (48) and George (59) have been married for five years and run two businesses together, but still keep their finances separate, leading to recurring tension, resentment, and financial instability. Vanessa is a risk-tolerant entrepreneur who sees money as a tool for growth. George is nearing retirement, risk-averse, and clings to financial security. They split everything 50/50, even when Vanessa stopped drawing a paycheck from their business. Now, with $482K in debt and $28K in savings, George’s retirement is looming, making their financial foundation feel unstable. His fear-based money spirals derail productive conversations, while Vanessa feels alone, unsupported, and afraid their misalignment could threaten their future. Can they learn to trust each other, merge their financial lives, and build a shared vision before retirement kicks in? This episode is brought to you by: Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50off with code RAMIT50OFF. Rocket Money | Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://rocketmoney.com/ramit. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit. Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping. LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try LMNT’s most popular flavors. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT. Links mentioned in this episode • Order my new book: Money for Couples Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Episoder(259)

10. “Money is overwhelming so we find instant gratification elsewhere”

10. “Money is overwhelming so we find instant gratification elsewhere”

Jacques and Jennifer are stuck in a money rut. They are trapped by their $40,000 debt. Jennifer feels overwhelmed with money talk, and Jaques doesn't want to say no to his wife. When he comes home fro...

21 Sep 202145min

9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

Jordan wasn't raised to talk about money. She constantly saw her mom withhold money matters from her dad, and now, history is repeating itself. Jordan has hidden her debt from her husband, Dan, twice....

14 Sep 202142min

8. “My wife is spending too much money”

8. “My wife is spending too much money”

Natalia prioritizes experiences over finances. She doesn’t want to miss out on life, so if she wants to visit her family, she doesn’t wait to check their budget -- she gets on a plane. Andres, on the ...

7 Sep 202145min

7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

Barry is a first-generation Pakistani immigrant. His wife, Maria, is also Pakistani and was born and raised in the United States. Cultural expectations are making it difficult to get aligned on their ...

31 Aug 202147min

6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

Jessica grew up wealthy in New York City. She can't imagine her life anywhere that's not within walking distance to the coffee shop, the best schools, and her parents (who live two blocks away). Her h...

24 Aug 202146min

5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

Sheena has paid off a huge chunk of her student debt. Peter wants to plan a trip to Japan for their 10th anniversary and decorate their apartment, but Sheena’s first reaction is, “How will we afford i...

17 Aug 202137min

4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

John has a lot of debt. Wendy knew about the $450k he owed when they started their relationship, over ten years ago, but she only found out what the current number is the day before their call with me...

10 Aug 202149min

3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

Calvin feels he needs to be the “man of the house” and pay for everything. There’s just one problem: He can’t afford it. Every month he’s in the red, leading him to be anxious around money. Chantha li...

6 Aug 202146min

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