Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Episoder(1522)

SWE: American Gangbang

SWE: American Gangbang

Emily interviews formerporn director Sam Benjamin talks about his new book American Gangbang: A Love Story. He describes what’s its like sleeping with porn stars, directing amateur porn, and the golden shower rule. Also, if he directed Emily’s dream porno it would involve a cop. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 Feb 201246min

SWE: Breaking Bad (Relationships)

SWE: Breaking Bad (Relationships)

People get into the same bad relationships over and over again. Emily talks about how it’s important to recognize your patterns, whether you fall for the bad boy or a momma’s boy. Also, how not to appear needy but still tell someone what you want. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Feb 201242min

SWE: Beating around the Bush

SWE: Beating around the Bush

Emily discusses pubic grooming, the 70's porn bush, and two-toned pubes. Cosmo has a curious take on manscaping, and Emily journeys into a brave new world of butthole bleaching and vajazzling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Feb 201247min

SWE: Do's and Don'ts

SWE: Do's and Don'ts

Today Emily lays out the do's and dont's of sex and relationships, and states definitively that penis size doesn't matter... well, sometimes... Going after married men, not letting your man know how much you love your vibrator and Menace declares his undying hatred for feet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Feb 201234min

SWE: V-Day & Night

SWE: V-Day & Night

Emily and Menace discuss all things Valentine's - from self-love to better oral sex, to where not to get your gifts wrapped. A listener is still stumped about where to find porn, and Emily has a profound love for Red Lobster. Plus, learn how to finally achieve an orgasm, how to break up on Valentine's Day, and be aghast but not really that surprised when Menace reveals what everyone asks him about Emily. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Feb 201248min

SWE: Vibrating Valentine

SWE: Vibrating Valentine

Emily lives in a hoarder’s house of sex toys and needs help. Emily also talks about Being predictable in bed, “Baby Daddy” mysteries, penis pumps, and hanging nude self-portraits in your house. Jimmyjane founder Ethan Imboden talks about Valentine's Day gift ideas and how to introduce a vibrator into your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Feb 20121h

SWE: Date me Online

SWE: Date me Online

okCupid founder Sam Yagen shares online dating profile secrets, Louis Vuitton condoms, breaking up with someone on their birthday, the Don Drapers of the world have low sperm counts, icy hot for your clitoris, is bad sex a good reason to get a divorce? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Feb 201248min

SWE: Romantic or Repulsive?

SWE: Romantic or Repulsive?

Emily and Menace debate whether Valentines Day is adorable or horribly repulsive. If you are going to celebrate the Hallmark made holiday, Emily breaks down the best and worst date ideas, including fast food picnics and Costco dates. Also, Emily talks about elitist penises, sex with virgins, men who don’t want sex, and the worrying, titillating trend of robberies at sex toy stores. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Feb 201244min

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