Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Episoder(1522)

SWE: Bend over Boyfriend

SWE: Bend over Boyfriend

Guest Carol Queen talks about Bend over Boyfriend and first time anal sex tips. Is anal the new blow job? Emily and Carol discuss antique vibrators. Carol’s first vibrator was a Swedish massager she stole from her father’s barber supplies. In the Victorian Era, vibrators looked like dryers and were used to treat hysteria -- a made up illness assigned to bored, sexually unsatisfied housewives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Feb 201253min

SWE: Casual Encounters

SWE: Casual Encounters

Emily was up late last night making jello shots and Menace wants a ride to the Sex With Emily party, how to meet women, the stop and start method and casual sex etiquette: cuddling, oral sex and swapping numbers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Feb 201233min

SWE: Bitter Sweet

SWE: Bitter Sweet

Emily attends the wildly successful Good Vibrations store opening in Oakland, CA, Emily interviews Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta - show will air this week, Emily solves a listener's stamina concerns, the number one fantasy for men and women, a bitter sweet final sex story, and Valentine's Contest to launch tomorrow. And yes, you could really win. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

30 Jan 201238min

SWE: Pornophobia

SWE: Pornophobia

Emily talks about pornophobia- people’s fear and love of porn. Menace watched his first porn at six and understood everything. Emily watched her first porn video at 12 and was turned on, but didn’t know what it was. What porn means about your relationship and the best porn for couples. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

27 Jan 20121h

SWE: Pleasing Teasing

SWE: Pleasing Teasing

Emily prepares a speech for a Singles Convention and Menace is resentful of hot women (no surprise here). How Emily handles Valentines Day, "expiration dating", and teasing your partner sexually without being annoying. Emily talks about how long foreplay should last and why it’s important. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 Jan 201259min

SWE: Own your O

SWE: Own your O

Emily is over sober January and Menace wants to find a nice girl and get married, the quest for the G-spot continues and does it even exist?, exercising the penis and how to own you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 Jan 201245min

SWE: Dude, Where's my G-Spot?

SWE: Dude, Where's my G-Spot?

Emily prepares a speech for a Singles Convention and Menace is resentful of hot women (no surprise here). How Emily handles Valentines Day, "expiration dating", and teasing your partner sexually without being annoying. Emily talks about how long foreplay should last and why it’s important. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20 Jan 20121h 1min

SWE: Understanding Females

SWE: Understanding Females

How to know when to 'take' a woman, men with money vs. men without money, why men don't like to undress women, finding the right porn for you and your partner, guest John from OneTaste (retreat for orgasmic meditation) talks about the art and craft of the female orgasm, what OM'ing means, his first time giving a clitoral massage, what men get from focusing on female pleasure, the shared euphoric orgasm, redefining orgasm, and the importance of understanding the female body, mind, genitalia and orgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Jan 201257min

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