Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Episoder(1521)

Episode 318 - Carnal Confessions

Episode 318 - Carnal Confessions

Emily reads carnal confessions from the SWE Treasure Island Music Festival Booth. Apparently, most people like it in the butt. Emily and Menace discuss if it’s ever okay to  use a coupon on a first date. Also, Social networking sites that can help get you laid, dating younger men, why you should say yes to every invitation, Sesame Street gets sexy, and having sex while skydiving? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Okt 201154min

Monday Manscaping

Monday Manscaping

Emily talks with guest Anthony Sosnick, founder of Anthony Logistics for Men, about grooming essentials and practices, the Sex with Emily "Carnal Confessions" booth at Treasure Island Music Festival, extreme sex confessions, How do you tell your partner to groom "down there,"? Menace explains why he strongly dislikes drunk white girls and the best products to manscape your body. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Okt 201150min

Sex Without Penetration

Sex Without Penetration

Emily attends a class on non-monogamy, how to overcome jealousy, Emily plays with her sex school friends, Google calendars to schedule sex with multiple people, is cheating genetic?, having bad gaydar, the morning after pill and the royal wedding, what's the best kind of orgasm, how to get through a break-up, how to start a new relationship, masturbating in front of your partner, the vagus nerve that makes you orgasm, nude beaches, smoking and sexual performance, Menace's date ideas, how to have a successful long distance relationship, phone sex and sex simulation: how to have sex without penetration. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Okt 20111h

Back Door Man

Back Door Man

What's sexy about having sex in nature?, Menace's worst phone sex fear, when men get bored with sex, the hottest and cheapest date idea for the weekend, how can you have sex at 85mph?, did Emily helped SF to become the most promiscuous city?, what happened with Menace's previous engagement?, Emily loves her new pet name, "Princess Emily," ways to work around foot fetishes, being in a relationship without the commitment, how to suggest anal play to your partner, the essential tool to use every time for backdoor sex, the number one rule to make it pleasurable and how to get the most out of it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Okt 201159min

The Tao of Dating

The Tao of Dating

Emily talks with guest Dr. Ali Binazir about his book The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible, do long-distance relationships actually work?, a little known aphrodisiac, why men love sensual women, how to have enlightened self-interest, the pros and cons of online dating, the three "C's" of dating and tips for getting the guy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Okt 201157min

Episode 309 - Hot Sex

Episode 309 - Hot Sex

Emily's co-author Jamye Waxman talks about their book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, first masturbation experiences, if you really love someone do you swallow?, pubic hair trends and armpit hair, how to get more foreplay, the two most important things for anal sex, how to touch breasts, taking it slow, men who love the vagina vs. men who don't, threesome etiquette, shower sex and can you teach someone to be a better kisser? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Okt 201157min

Ultimate Guide to O

Ultimate Guide to O

Emily talks with Mikaya Heart, author of The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women, all about orgasms including: being in your body during sex, observing your energy flow to reach orgasm, using a vibrator during intercourse, why goal oriented sex doesn't work, the biggest relationship killer, G-spot orgasms, why shallow sex can be better for women, focusing on your body during sex, the "elusive" orgasm, female ejaculation, mixing up your sexual repertoire, multiple orgasms, and hanging out in the "golden light" after orgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Okt 201155min

Sex Myths

Sex Myths

Why San Francisco is the most sexually promiscuous city, women dressing up as sexy Star Wars characters, sexting ex's, who doesn't?, it's sex toy day at the Sex With Emily office, is a wingwoman better than a wingman?, female erogenous zones you didn't know about, G-spot parties, women who orgasm from nipple play alone, sex myths debunked. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Okt 201158min

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