The Two Types of Pain That Keep You Up at Night

If you’ve struggled with insomnia, you know this isn’t just about feeling tired.

It’s about the suffering that comes with not sleeping.

The fear.

The frustration.

The feeling that you’re broken.

The dread of the next night.

The anxiety about tomorrow.

It can feel like a never-ending spiral. But there’s a way out.

It starts with understanding the difference between clean pain and dirty pain.

Clean vs. Dirty Pain

This idea comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and it’s a game-changer.

• Clean pain is the natural discomfort that comes from difficult life experiences—like fatigue from a bad night, sadness, or disappointment.
• Dirty pain is the suffering we add on top of that experience with our reactions.

For example:

• Feeling tired = clean pain
• Telling yourself “I’ll never feel normal again” = dirty pain
• Feeling anxious = clean pain
• Berating yourself for being anxious = dirty pain

Dirty pain keeps you stuck.

It’s the loop of overthinking, catastrophizing, self-judgment, and avoidance.

It’s the extra suffering we create by resisting reality instead of accepting it.

The more you engage with dirty pain, the more revved up your nervous system becomes—and the harder it is to sleep.

But when you recognize it, you can shift.

You can choose to feel the clean pain—and skip the extra suffering.

Drop the Rope

Imagine you’re in a fierce game of tug-of-war with the “Insomnia Monster.”

You’re pulling with all your strength, trying not to fall into the pit.

You think:

“If I just try hard enough, I’ll win. I’ll finally sleep.”

But no matter how hard you pull, the monster pulls harder.

You’re exhausted, terrified, and it feels like you’re losing ground.

Here’s the twist:

You don’t have to win.

You can drop the rope.

When you stop fighting, the monster may still be there—but the struggle changes.

You’re no longer draining your energy in a battle you can’t win.

You’re reclaiming peace, one moment at a time.

You Can Choose a New Relationship with Insomnia

You don’t need to accept insomnia forever.

You don’t need to love being tired.

But you can learn to stop fighting every moment of it.

Mindful acceptance is how you find relief.

Not just when your sleep improves, but starting now.

Even while things are still messy.

Here’s the truth:

You won’t always feel calm.

You won’t always get it “right.”

But every time you shift from resistance to acceptance, you take a step toward peace.

And every step makes sleep easier.

So the next time you’re lying awake, ask yourself:

Can I stop fighting this moment, just for now?

Then see what happens.

You’re doing better than you think

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast