The Narcissist, The “Let Them” Theory, And Internal Family Systems

In this episode, I talk to Heather Black who is in my High-Performance Healing Mastermind and is passionate about helping parents get back into the workplace so they can parent with flexibility and create a new, lucrative career for themselves. When I left my narcissistic partner, I had suffered from financial abuse, and as a result, I lost my house and was severely in debt. If you are feeling stuck, have been financially abused, and feel like there is no way out of your financial situation like I once did, this episode is a must-listen. What you will learn in this episode: How to earn financial independence by doing something you love The tools to create a flexible and rewarding career Why you can recover from financial abuse and how to create freedom Heather is the founder and CEO of Supermums. She is the mum of two gorgeous little girls and lives by the sea in East Sussex whilst working remotely. In 2010 she became an accidental Salesforce admin for her non-profit and loved it so much that she decided to upskill as a Salesforce Consultant in 2012 helping other non-profits to implement a CRM. She realised her career path could work for other mothers so she launched Supermums in 2016 to bring more women into the sector. As a consultant, she has overseen over 700 Salesforce projects and now enjoys upskilling talent in Salesforce consultancy and coaching skills. Connect with Heather: "Take the 5-Day Challenge” and book a free 30-minute career consultation: https://supermums.org/what-is-a-salesforce-career/ Website: https://supermums.org/ LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-black-salesforce-women-in-tech-speaker/ Resources: Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

25 Okt 202245min

Have you ever wondered if you’re the narcissist in the relationship? If so, this episode will put an end to those thoughts. There are subtle differences between having a narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits, in this episode I’ll explain the behaviours of these two types of people and what actually makes a person a narcissist. I also want to say a quick shout-out to all of you who came to my Unseen Wounds of Women event last week. You all made it such a special event for me, I’m so grateful for all of you. What you will learn in this episode: Narcissistic traits vs narcissistic personality disorder How to create an environment that will help you heal Why a narcissist will never take ownership and responsibility It isn’t uncommon for people to mirror the behaviour of a narcissist to soften the abuse, and due to this it’s sometimes hard to see which person is the narcissist at first, but with a little digging, it’s easy to see who the REAL narcissist is. I hope this episode provides you with the tools to find the right people to help you grow and how to let go of the “friends” that are keeping you stuck. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

18 Okt 202217min

In this episode, I interview Kim Pontarelli, one of my trained Trauma Informed Coaches who specialises in covert narcissism, helping women step into post-traumatic growth. In this episode, Kim discusses how she has turned her own pain and struggle into her purpose and her strength. Kim also shares with us what post-traumatic growth is and how to take responsibility for your life going forward whilst stopping yourself from blaming yourself for the past. What you will learn in this episode: What post-traumatic growth is and how can you achieve it How to get out of the cycle of blaming yourself  The differences between overt and covert narcissists How to set a goal of personal growth and work towards achieving it.  Tune in to the end to hear Kim share what it’s like to be in the dark, and why you need to know that you can get out of it! Kim knows that you can thrive, as she is now living a meaningful life and for the first time ever, she feels like she is actually living. Finally, Kim also discusses what reactive abuse is, and how you can work on yourself to stop reacting negatively, but also not blaming yourself if you do lash out.  Connect with Kim: Website: www.kimpontarellicoaching.com Email: kim@kimpointarellicoaching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimpontarellicoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.vassalluzzo Resources: Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

11 Okt 202234min

Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! Firstly, I want to express how grateful I am to all of you who’ve supported my new book and the brave women who shared their stories in it. In the AMA section of this episode, I discuss topics ranging from feeling so stuck that it seems there’s no way forward to why your children are starting to replicate the narcissistic behaviours of your ex. I’ll also discuss how to get over the fear of dating again and how to be intentional with your healing so that you can recover from narcissistic abuse quicker and stronger. Questions in this episode include: Why do I feel so stuck? How to parent an adult child through narcissistic abuse? I am too scared to date again, how can I overcome my fear? My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources: Discover the psychology of a narcissist in my FREE masterclass: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/join-my-masterclass Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson

4 Okt 202236min

I am so excited to share with you some BIG NEWS! I have a new book out called The Unseen Wounds of Women. and I can’t wait for you to get your hands on it. So, in this episode, I’ll share with you why I wrote the book and what I hope it can do for you in your path to recovery from trauma.  You can find The Unseen Wounds of Women here: https://bit.ly/unseenwoundsofwomen What you will learn in this episode: The story of how I broke the chain of generational trauma What you MUST know about healing from trauma caused by a narcissist How you can win a FREE place in my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme My new book is about the women who dared to be vulnerable and shared how they allowed the unseen to be visible and realised that they held the key to their invisible cage. Healing their unseen wounds not only healed themselves, but it broke the generational cycle of trauma. Each chapter is a story from a woman in my Embodied Self Leadership Mastermind, and the first chapter is my story. My hope is that you can take these stories and see that no matter how dark the place you’re currently in is, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just may need to be pointed in the right direction first.  To celebrate the release of my new book, I’m running a competition where YOU could win a FREE spot on my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme. All you have to do is: Purchase the book Leave a testimonial Tag me in a post on Instagram and Facebook. The competition runs until Friday the 30th of September 2022 10 pm UK time and the winners will be announced on Monday the 3rd of October via direct message to win one of the 10 places on the Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme. Resources: You can find The Unseen Wounds of Women here: https://bit.ly/unseenwoundsofwomen Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

27 Sep 202222min

Do you ever wonder why you react in the way you do and wish that you had a positive response instead of what always seems to be a negative response? If so, tune in, as in this episode I’ll break down Polyvagal Theory and how it teaches us how and why our responses are often automatic. By knowing how our nervous system controls our responses, we can start to point ourselves in the direction of growth by integrating a recovery programme that can change how we feel for the better.  What you will learn in this episode: What Polyvagal Theory is and how your vagus nerve regulates your reactions The science behind trusting your gut How cortisol and adrenaline play a role in your perception of narcissistic abuse I’ll also discuss how you can use the traffic light system to define where you are in your trauma recovery. At the end of the day, I want you to know how you can turn your pain into your purpose, and by learning more about your nervous system, you’ll be able to create a recovery plan to influence how your nervous system can help you for the better. If you want to learn about these topics on a much greater scale, you can check out my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

20 Sep 202220min

In this Survivor Stories episode, you’ll meet Sarada Rao, a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor and one of my students in my Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification who is driven to help women from the South Asian Community. We’ll discover how Sarada is turning her pain and struggle into her purpose and strength to help women from the South East Asian community to recognise narcissistic abuse and recover from it. What you will learn in this episode: Sarada’s story of recovery from narcissistic parents to an arranged marriage with a narcissist How the South East Asian culture creates abuse and narcissism What post-separation abuse is and how to deal with it Sarada discusses how she discovered what narcissism is after a childhood of narcissistic abuse from her parents which led to an arranged marriage with a narcissist. Then throughout the episode, we’ll see where Sarada is now, so that women, especially those from the South East Asian community, can see what the light at the end of the tunnel can look like in terms of recovery from narcissistic abuse.  Connect with Sarada:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evolution.of.sarada/   Resources: Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

13 Sep 202243min

Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why you may be struggling to find the energy to exercise because of a trauma response, to the number #1 thing that you can do to get back into dating. I’ll also discuss how to stop your children from developing narcissistic behaviours when they spend time with your narcissistic ex-partner and if a narcissist can actually be cured. Questions in this episode include: Why is it so hard to find any energy and exercise? My 7-year-old son is exhibiting narcissistic behaviours...Help!! Can you cure a narcissist? How can I start dating again after the narcissist? My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources: Discover the psychology of a narcissist in my FREE masterclass: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/join-my-masterclass Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson

6 Sep 202223min