Episode 121 - Part 2: Are People Pleasers Liars? (And Why That's Not The Real Problem)

Episode 121 - Part 2: Are People Pleasers Liars? (And Why That's Not The Real Problem)

Last week, I shared an interactive episode about people-pleasing and lying—today, we’re continuing the conversation. In this episode, I offer an approach that is based not on the morality of telling the truth, but on your values and human need for safety. We’ll take a deeper look at why we lie, the hidden costs it can have in our relationships, and how you can be more truthful in safe, selective places to foster connection to yourself and others. Here’s what I cover:


  • How good-girl programming wires us to lie in order to please and avoid conflict
  • The huge role that the nervous system plays in why we lie
  • When lying can still be a necessary and useful tool
  • How we separate children from the truth of their bodies and punish them for honesty
  • Why protecting yourself is not the same as deceiving someone else
  • How to build more honesty in your life one relationship at a time


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What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

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Episoder(182)

Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good

Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good

Is there a difficult conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off? You may have noticed that every time you decide to wait, you feel a little better even though you’re avoiding somethin...

19 Aug 30min

Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck?

Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck?

How often do you have thoughts like, "I hate doing this," "I'm bad at this," or "What's the point?" and brush them aside? We often push through our days without stopping to question the stories runnin...

29 Jul 22min

Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up

Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up

Most women are familiar with what people-pleasing looks like. You say yes when you mean no, avoid conflict, or never ask for what you need. But some of the most exhausting people-pleasing doesn't happ...

22 Jul 21min

Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager

Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager

People-pleasing tendencies start much earlier in life than many of us realize, and there comes a point when children need to begin unlearning those behaviors so they don't carry them into adulthood. I...

15 Jul 19min

Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me?

Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me?

We all assume other people have it more figured out than we do. But beneath so many of our struggles is the same familiar good girl question: How am I going to be perceived? In this episode, I'm shari...

8 Jul 19min

Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

We often think of relationships as something we have: a marriage, a friendship, a relationship with our parents. But relationships are more like living things—they have their own patterns and ecosyste...

1 Jul 17min

Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. ...

24 Jun 26min

Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've misse...

10 Jun 25min

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