Feel Like You’re Too Much? ADHD, Intense Emotions and Validation. CLOUD With Sabrina Zohar

One of the things that surprised me the most when I learnt more about ADHD was that we tend to all be people with big feelings. I had always thought that I just ‘felt’ things really deeply and that was just the way it was, but it turns out it isn’t a unique experience at all. Whether it’s a result of constantly being told we are ‘too much’ I’m not sure; but what I am sure about is that consistently being told I was too much left me with a pretty insatiable need for validation. Again, I don’t seem to be alone in that either…

Joining the podcast today is the wonderful Sabrina Zohar! Sabrina is a relationship expert, entrepreneur and podcast host of the Sabrina Zohar show. I was particularly drawn to Sabrina because of her no bullshit, tell it like it is style of communicating. Today we take a big dive into big feelings, our experiences of learning how to accept ourselves and how ADHD has affected our relationships.

We spoke about:

• Being diagnosed later in life, something really common for women
• Sabrina’s misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and the dangers of misdiagnosis
• How we both found ourselves craving validation from people around us
• How we show up in the dating world when we feel like we are ‘too much’ but also not enough
• Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD
• Repetition compulsion
• How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains
• When to talk about ADHD in relationships

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

4:40 - Sabrina's diagnosis

7:45 - Being misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder

9:10 - The symptoms of ADHD that Sabrina experienced

12:30 - Where the need for validation came from

15:00 - Worthiness & how the dial shifted for Sabrina

18:00 - How long does 'the work' take?

22:15 - Being 'too much' but also not enough

25:20 - Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD

31:00 - Make them a real person

34:00 - Big feelings and Repetition compulsion

33:50 - How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains

37:48 - Dating burn out & chasing 'the highs'

41:10 - Looking for something different in dating

45:30 - When to talk about ADHD in relationships

You can find more from Sabrina’s website

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