Episode 15 - There Will Be Sex On the Barricades: After Consent with Ariel Ajeno

Episode 15 - There Will Be Sex On the Barricades: After Consent with Ariel Ajeno

On today's episode, I talk with Ariel Ajeno, who recently published an essay in the latest issue of Pinko, called "After Consent": What is the role of consent in a revolution? Ariel Ajeno is a writer, dancer, and independent scholar based in Chicago, IL. The beautiful essay mixes personal experience with theoretical and practical analysis of the benefits and limits of consent and how that relates to the work of transforming the world beyond the principles of oppression that contain us now. Our conversation digs down into some nitty gritty questions about sexual consent, its difference from bodily autonomy, its parallels with revolutionary or resistant actions and organizing, and prefigurative aspects of how we might relate to one another, including experiences with cruising. As Ariel says towards the end of the conversation, There is going to be sex at the barricades, there is going to be sex at the encampment. So we should be honest about how we want to deal with the overlapping of revolutionary and sexual desires. I think that desire or pleasure is often left out of the overly serious conversation of destroying this world and forming other ways of relating, both as a legacy of masculinist authoritarian Marxist party organizations, and in reaction to the failures of gay liberation and radical feminism. But we can't just dismiss the ways that these earlier militants engaged with these questions, nor the obstacles they faced and created. Having sex at the barricades means we need to be able to step in to difficult, complicated, messy relations that we can't control or predict—in other words, an anarchist vision of action and change. Assessing the end of the radical gay movement, only a year after it started, Guy Hocquenghem said that they had radically changed the homosexual geography of Paris, where their general assemblies became giant cruising sites, with the police threat removed. And that in itself is not so bad. Thinking after consent really asks us to confront our desire for control and our willingness to experiment and fail, in other words how we must engage with our own power in between us. Ariel's analysis in the essay and the conversation feels very thorough and generative, and I'm excited to share it.

I will link to the essay and to the wonderful Pinko collective in the show notes. You can also find Ariel on Twitter @generoajeno and on Instagram @ariel_ajeno

As always, We have an online submission form at https://form.jotform.com/thebreakuptheory/stories and a phone line at ‪(917) 426-6548. Please write and call us, to share your break up stories, your questions about ending things, and your hopes for liberation!

If you like this show, please share with your friends and rate and follow us wherever you get podcasts. You can also support the project and my writing by subscribing to my patreon patreon.com/thebreakuptheory. If you have any extra cash, you can sign up for $5/month, though nothing there is paywalled. On my patreon, I regularly post both short and long written pieces, along with episodes, and other conversations I'm having. I am so grateful for all of you supporting me and this project!

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Episoder(35)

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Episode 35 - Give Out But Don't Give Up with Josh Rivers and Conner Habib

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Episode 34 - A Listener Letter with Amar: All Relationships have some form of pain

Episode 34 - A Listener Letter with Amar: All Relationships have some form of pain

Today, I tackle a letter with an old friend, Amar, who some of you may know from his work on The Final Straw Radio. He is one of the reasons I am making this show, as The Final Straw invited me in to ...

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Episode 33 - Opening Up the Personal Essay (Trans Style) With Megan Milks

Episode 33 - Opening Up the Personal Essay (Trans Style) With Megan Milks

Today I talk with the great writer and friend Megan Milks about their new essay collection Mega Milk, published this year by Feminist Press. I just have to say that Mega Milk by Megan Milks is maybe ...

8 Apr 1h 5min

Iran and the US-Israeli Death Drive Economy

Iran and the US-Israeli Death Drive Economy

Today I am sharing a conversation I recorded with Elia Ayoub to discuss and analyze what is going on with the US-Israeli war on Iran. We recorded on Tuesday March 10, and events keep changing, but thi...

14 Mar 1h 21min

How Do We Live Now with Vicky Osterweil at the New York Anarchist Bookfair

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Today's episode features a recording of the talk that Vicky Osterweil and I gave at the 2025 New York Anarchist Bookfair, called "How Do We Live Now?", where we discussed our CAW project and the way t...

19 Feb 46min

The Breakup Theory Episode 30 - WE ARE NOW LIVING IN THE HELLSCAPE OF POETIC SCIENCE w/ P.

The Breakup Theory Episode 30 - WE ARE NOW LIVING IN THE HELLSCAPE OF POETIC SCIENCE w/ P.

In this episode, I talk to my eternal roommate, P, about his new book, God, Artificial Intelligence, and Me. This is a really ambitious text that weaves together personal history with the history of C...

19 Jan 1h 26min

Episode 29 - Living with Trans Despair with Simon(e) van Saarloos

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Today I am presenting a talk that Simon(e) van Saarloos and I did, kind of as a followup to our last talk together at the NYC Art Bookfair, called "Living with Trans Despair." I'm going to give you th...

3 Jan 1h 18min

Episode 28 - Jaime Grant on What We Can Do Intimately With Each Other

Episode 28 - Jaime Grant on What We Can Do Intimately With Each Other

In this episode, Caroline and I talk to the wonderful Dr. Jaime M. Grant, Sex and Intimacy Coach, Researcher, Writer, and longtime Activist. She has recently published Kink for Dummies, after her prev...

7 Nov 20251h 14min

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