How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways. We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons. So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness 11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia 15:11 Epicureanism 23:20 Eastern Perspectives 27:15 Modern Happiness Research 29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West 40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness 46:44 Hedonic Adaptation 59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy 1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol 1:07:23 Sex 1:15:09 Money 1:23:10 Fame and Status 1:37:26 Geography and Environment 1:39:51 Love and Relationships 1:41:19 Friendships 1:44:04 Having Children 1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self 1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness 1:53:35 Genetics 1:59:50 Circumstances 2:02:16 Intentional Actions 2:06:13 Relationships 2:10:51 Gratitude 2:13:13 Altruism 2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff 2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness 2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness 2:29:05 Social Comparison 2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers 2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan 2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths 3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness 3:16:22 Lessons Learned Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(82)

How to Enjoy Doing Hard Things (ft. Ali Abdaal)

How to Enjoy Doing Hard Things (ft. Ali Abdaal)

It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true. In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Des 202351min

How to Stop Wasting Your Life (ft. Oliver Burkeman)

How to Stop Wasting Your Life (ft. Oliver Burkeman)

Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list? Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!? This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely. In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more. Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Des 202342min

7 Paradoxes That Will Change How You See Everything

7 Paradoxes That Will Change How You See Everything

Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge. In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Des 202338min

How to Give Up Everything to Save Yourself (ft. Matt from Yes Theory)

How to Give Up Everything to Save Yourself (ft. Matt from Yes Theory)

In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform.Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Des 20231h 5min

7 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner

7 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner

A comprehensive list of lessons you shouldn’t wait too long to learn. In this episode, I’m sharing 7 important lessons I learned far too late in life. I’m doing this so that you don’t have to live through as many clusterfucks as I did to find a bit of peace in life. Some of these lessons you may already know, some may surprise you. But they’re all guaranteed to help you live a better life. This is your one and only chance to not repeat my godawful mistakes. So get into it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Nov 202341min

Is Technology Ruining Our Minds? (ft. Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD)

Is Technology Ruining Our Minds? (ft. Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD)

Do I exist if I’m not on social media? Can I fake it till I make it? What’s the secret to a good life? In this week’s episode, I enlist my old friend and host of the wildly popular The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD. to dissect our psyche in the social media age. Reflecting on his personal experience and drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Scott asks—and answers—questions that might reveal aspects of yourself you never knew were there, and set you on the path to a better life. We’re going to dive deep and get existential. We’re going to talk neurodiversity, vulnerability, and Batman. What more can you ask for? Exactly. Go get it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Nov 20231h 5min

How to Know When to End a Relationship

How to Know When to End a Relationship

Make up or break up? Knowing when to call it quits. If you’ve ever been through a rough patch, you know this is a painful question to answer. Do you stick it out? Do you cut the cord and run? Do you sacrifice more to make it work? Do you demand your partner give up everything and run away to Fiji and live happily ever after? These are the hard questions we answer in this episode. To help us figure this out, I’m going to be roasting viewers’ relationships with their partners. I’m going to go over five real-world examples sent in from you, fans struggling with relationships, and in the process I’m going to share the three questions we must all ask ourselves to figure out if it’s time to break up. So get your hot sauce ready, because shit’s about to get spicy. Maybe even have your partner join you for this one. It could be fun… or it could ruin your marriage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Nov 202341min

What Nobody Tells You About Getting Rich (ft. Morgan Housel)

What Nobody Tells You About Getting Rich (ft. Morgan Housel)

Everybody wants to get rich. But is the pursuit of wealth really about the money, or are we actually chasing something much deeper? These are just a couple of the fun ideas I toss around in this episode with Morgan Housel, New York Times Bestselling author of the smash hit, The Psychology of Money, which has sold more than four million copies worldwide. We’ll dig deep to uncover our relationship with money, answer the timeless question “Will getting rich make me happy?” and share some of Morgan’s best investing tips. So put away your spreadsheets, step away from the credit card, and for god’s sake stop trading crypto for five seconds, and settle in for this one. We might just make you filthy fucking rich. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Nov 20231h 6min

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