How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways. We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons. So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness 11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia 15:11 Epicureanism 23:20 Eastern Perspectives 27:15 Modern Happiness Research 29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West 40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness 46:44 Hedonic Adaptation 59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy 1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol 1:07:23 Sex 1:15:09 Money 1:23:10 Fame and Status 1:37:26 Geography and Environment 1:39:51 Love and Relationships 1:41:19 Friendships 1:44:04 Having Children 1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self 1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness 1:53:35 Genetics 1:59:50 Circumstances 2:02:16 Intentional Actions 2:06:13 Relationships 2:10:51 Gratitude 2:13:13 Altruism 2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff 2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness 2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness 2:29:05 Social Comparison 2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers 2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan 2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths 3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness 3:16:22 Lessons Learned Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(82)

6 Ways to Stop Giving a F*ck

6 Ways to Stop Giving a F*ck

We all wish we gave fewer f*cks in our lives, but wanting to and doing it are two different things. If you've read my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then you know that not giving a f*ck doesn't mean you don't care about anything—it means deliberately choosing what you give a f*ck about and ignore the rest. In this episode, we dive into the realities of not giving f*ck, the good and the bad. We talk about why there will never be a time when you're completely free from judgement by others. Why being "normal"—whatever that means—is not something to aspire to, nor is wanting to be liked by everyone. How criticism is a part of life you can't escape—but not all criticism is created equal. And a whole lot more. Check it out. Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough, to be a slightly less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Aug 202444min

It's Never Too Late to Turn Your Life Around (ft. Brandon Novak)

It's Never Too Late to Turn Your Life Around (ft. Brandon Novak)

Brandon Novak showed all the signs of becoming a highly successful, rebellious young man. He was a professional skateboarder in his early teens, rubbing elbows with the likes of Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. In his late teens and twenties, he was a regular on world-famous TV shows like Viva La Bam and Jackass. But drugs and alcohol were always lurking in the shadows for Novak, and he soon fell head-first into the dark trap of his addictions. He endured bouts of homelessness, committed every petty crime you could imagine, and even resorted to sex work to feed his addictions. The stats would suggest Brandon Novak shouldn’t be sober right now. He probably shouldn’t even be alive. But not only is he alive with 9 years of sobriety under his belt, he’s found a deep and meaningful purpose in his life, running his own rehab centers and taking care of his elderly mother. This is the hilarious and heartening story of how Brandon Novak turned it all around. And trust me, if he can do it, so can anyone else. Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough, to be a slightly less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jul 20241h 23min

The Backwards Law: How to Get More by Doing Less

The Backwards Law: How to Get More by Doing Less

There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable. The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”. Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits. Enjoy. Get your first month of Shopify for only $1 at https://shopify.com/idgaf Use the code IDGAF to get 20% off your one-time purchase of supplements at https://LiveMomentous.com Sign up for Your Next Breakthrough, a weekly newsletter that will make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Jul 202441min

Is Social Media Really Ruining Our Lives… Or Is It Something Else? (ft. Jonathan Haidt)

Is Social Media Really Ruining Our Lives… Or Is It Something Else? (ft. Jonathan Haidt)

Is everything going to hell in a handcart because of smartphones and social media? In this episode, I sit down with NYU professor and bestselling author Jonathan Haidt to tackle this burning question. Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I'm not so sure it's quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the nuances. We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical and highly sensible recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers. Whether you’re a skeptic or a die-hard believer, this episode will make you rethink your relationship with the technology in our pockets. Let's do this. Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR by going to ⁠mudwtr.com/IDGAF⁠ #mudwtrpod Get 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp.com/IDGAF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Jul 20241h 31min

How I Lost 60 Pounds and Started Giving A F*ck About My Health

How I Lost 60 Pounds and Started Giving A F*ck About My Health

Over the past 5 years, I’ve completely changed my relationship to my health. Prior to that, I was overweight, pre-diabetic, and having chest pains in my mid-30s. I thought maybe eating a salad once a week and going for a run every now then would take care of it. I was wrong. Since then, I’ve lost 60 pounds (~30kg). I now enjoy exercising regularly and I eat healthy and nutritious foods. My daily life is much more physically active and I get way better sleep. I’m happy with my health now—but it took a long time to get here. I’m not going to share a bunch of workout routines or complicated diets. What worked for me might not work for you. But I can share what I went through to get here in the hopes that you, too, might change how you think about your health and take it more seriously. Because at the end of the day, your health is definitely something you should give a f*ck about. Use the code IDGAF to get 20% off your first one-time purchase of supplements at livemomentous.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Jul 202445min

Life-Changing Insights From Traveling To Every Country In The World (ft. Drew Binsky)

Life-Changing Insights From Traveling To Every Country In The World (ft. Drew Binsky)

Drew Binsky is a fearless traveler who's seen it all. From chatting with North Koreans in their homeland to dodging bombings in Somalia and volunteering in Syria in the middle of a civil war, Drew's adventures are nothing short of incredible. He's been to every country in the world, witnessing the most dangerous places and surviving a few close calls. Yet, his experiences have led him to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good. Even in the direst circumstances, Drew finds that human resilience can prevail. In our conversation, Drew shares why he's drawn to war zones and failed states, revealing the profound lessons he's learned from them. We discuss why you should never judge a country by the news you hear about it, how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, and where to find the friendliest people on Earth. Drew also offers his top travel tips on spontaneity, connecting with locals, and what he looks for on his travel adventures. It's a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world a little differently. Get 10% your first month of therapy at betterhelp.com/idgaf Let Rocket Money cancel your unwanted subscriptions at RocketMoney.com/idgaf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Jul 202459min

How to Know When to Give Up on Goals

How to Know When to Give Up on Goals

A lot of people treat goals like some kind of sacred self-improvement law, where the most important thing you can do is set and achieve your goals. But goals are simply tools we use to point us in the right direction. Your goals should serve you—and so you shouldn’t be a slave to some arbitrary goal you set when it’s no longer serving you. So how do you know when a goal is no longer pushing you in the right direction? In this episode, I talk about why I gave up a pretty big goal I set at the beginning of the year. I discuss what I think are the criteria you should use when deciding whether to give up on a goal or stick it out. We also discuss what we learned from the goals survey we did for podcast viewers and listeners. How many stuck with their goals and how many have moved on? What are the most effective tactics people used to stick to their goals? What are the most important lessons they learned about their goals and themselves? Check it out. Get your first month of Shopify for $1 at shopify.com/idgaf Get 10% off your first order of Mitopure from Timeline at timeline.com/idgaf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Jun 202444min

How to Become Resilient and Break World Records (ft. Dean Stott)

How to Become Resilient and Break World Records (ft. Dean Stott)

After a catastrophic parachuting accident ended his military career in the British special forces, Dean Stott couldn't just retire to a quiet life. Instead, he decided to shatter boundaries in entirely new fields. These days, when Dean isn't prepping to beat another world record, like a 14,000-mile bike ride in less than 100 days, he's jet-setting around the world rescuing civilians and diplomats alike from war zones. In this episode, Dean shares his unique approach to overcoming adversity, managing risk, and staying mentally tough in the most challenging situations. We explore his fascinating experiences from war-torn countries to royal security and the psychological benefits of meticulous planning and mission-driven thinking. Dean also offers a glimpse into how he balances extreme challenges with a grounded personal life. Enjoy. Get up to 84% off and 4 extra months free when you sign up for a VPN with SurfShark at ⁠https://surfshark.deals/subtleart⁠ Get 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp by visiting ⁠https://betterhelp.com/idgaf⁠ Use code IDGAF to Get 20% off your first one-time purchase of supplements at ⁠https://livemomentous.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Jun 20241h 8min

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