The Frieda Vizel Podcast24 Nov 2024

Sex ed in the Hasidic community | A Hasidic grooms receives the birds and the bees talk

Video version of this posting: https://youtu.be/Gk917OpgS_Q

It is the tradition that before a Hasidic young man gets married, he attends a private session with an older rabbi who guides him in matters of sex and intimacy. Since sex is not a topic openly discussed in this society as it is considered immodest, this one lesson is potentially the first time the young groom learns about sex and the opposite gender. That one lesson could be beautiful, painful, shocking, exhilarating, and so many other things.

Since I myself went through this on the female side, I have first hand experience of how complicated and intense this session can be. A few years ago a young engaged man recorded his pre-marital session and it was circulated in the underground Hasidic world. I first found it painful to listen to, and later I came to see it as quite gorgeous, human, complex, worthy of dissemination.

To keep everyone's identity private, I am not publishing the original audio, which is in Yiddish. However, I did translate the whole thing to English for my blog, and in this video I'll read to you most of that translation. I'm leaving out the very graphic sexual bits as I didn't think they were necessary. If you are interested in reading it (and probably you are, you are human! :)

feel free to check out my blog post here: https://friedavizel.com/2022/03/27/transcript-of-a-hasidic-grooms-wedding-lesson/

Please also check out my interview with intimacy coach Peggy Greenfield for more conversation on this very delicate topic. https://youtu.be/AUdw8W71Gv8

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