The ADHD Channel for Women21 Aug 2025

“So, when are you having kids?” ADHD and deciding on parenthood | Hyperfocus

One of the most inevitable questions that comes with early adulthood is also one of the most fraught: “When are you having kids?”

The question is loaded with assumptions and pressure. It also seems to ignore the fact that having kids is supposed to be a choice, not a requirement.

For neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, deciding whether to become a parent can be even more complex.

On this episode of “Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson,” we talk with author and editorial director Jordan Davidson. She’s interviewed hundreds of people about their decision on whether to become a parent.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:06) What inspired Jordan’s book

(08:35) Jordan’s findings from hundreds of interviews

(12:28) How to break schemas attached to parenthood

(24:28) The fantasy of the “idealized parent”

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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