The Hidden Drama: Why Protest Behaviors Sabotage Love

The Hidden Drama: Why Protest Behaviors Sabotage Love

Uncover the hidden drama sabotaging marriages everywhere! Marriage coach Christa explores protest behaviors - the unconscious patterns where spouses criticize, withdraw, create drama, or become passive-aggressive instead of directly communicating their needs. Discover why your partner acts out instead of speaking up through specific protest behaviors for each Enneagram type, from Type 1 criticism when feeling unappreciated to Type 9 passive resistance when feeling unheard. Learn why we protest instead of asking directly (fear, past rejection, learned patterns) and discover the "protest to request" translation guide that ends sabotage and creates real connection. Includes practical solutions for recognizing your own hidden drama patterns and responding to your partner's underlying needs rather than their difficult behavior. Watch on YouTube! Want to get healthy together as a couple this Fall? Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠ here! ⁠⁠⁠ Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(613)

Subscriber Series (FREE): The Two Shadows in Every Type: Overly Controlling and Complying

Subscriber Series (FREE): The Two Shadows in Every Type: Overly Controlling and Complying

Here in this (free) subscriber series episode, Christa goes deeper into how self-erasure takes root for each of the nine types in this subscriber episode released for our entire audience. For a lot of...

2 Sep 19min

NEW Sept Series: The Shadow Side of Selflessness

NEW Sept Series: The Shadow Side of Selflessness

Serving is beautiful, but there's a shadow side to it, the point where selflessness turns into self-erasure and a person, more often a woman, slowly disappears inside their own marriage or role. In th...

2 Sep 24min

When You're Too Weary for the Work, with Amy Wicks, 7

When You're Too Weary for the Work, with Amy Wicks, 7

So many this 2026 are bone-tired, pouring themselves out for everyone around them until there is nothing left, and then feeling guilty for having no energy left for the inner work they know matters, e...

31 Aug 43min

The Gift Your Marriage Never Knew It Needed: A Full You

The Gift Your Marriage Never Knew It Needed: A Full You

As we have named what our spouses cannot carry for us, now we turn the corner to the best gift your marriage never knew it needed, and it is not a date night or a new technique, it is a full you. If y...

26 Aug 20min

When Parenting Takes Everything, with Abbey Howe, 3

When Parenting Takes Everything, with Abbey Howe, 3

When the kids need everything, there is often very little left over for the marriage, and yet if our family is going to make it, fighting for it is your work to do. To this end, Christa welcomes Abbey...

24 Aug 43min

What Your Spouse Can and Can't Hold (Mind the Gap!)

What Your Spouse Can and Can't Hold (Mind the Gap!)

As we're talking about all month, every marriage has gaps and seasons where connection runs thin or a need goes unspoken for too long. As you're learning to healthily differentiate, don't move so far ...

19 Aug 21min

Grief, Remarriage, and the Love That Lasts, with Clarissa Moll, 6

Grief, Remarriage, and the Love That Lasts, with Clarissa Moll, 6

⁠⁠⁠This is a special and tender episode to close our month on what our spouses can and cannot carry for us, because some things, like grief, are simply too heavy for any one person to hold alone. Chri...

17 Aug 33min

Your Virtue, Your Vice, and Awakening to Your True Purposes

Your Virtue, Your Vice, and Awakening to Your True Purposes

So much of what we hand our spouse to fix is really our own inner work in disguise. In this episode, Christa turns to two of the most useful words the Enneagram gives us: your vice and your virtue. Yo...

12 Aug 22min

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