Enneagram and Marriage1 Sep 2025

Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Protest Behaviors from Destroying Your Marriage

Learn how to break destructive protest behavior cycles before they destroy your marriage! In Part 2 of the protest behaviors series, marriage therapy expert Christa Hardin explores why these patterns escalate from mild criticism or withdrawal to explosive fights and emotional shutdown. Discover childhood origins of each Enneagram type's specific protest strategies, from Type 8s who learned vulnerability was dangerous to Type 5s who learned people drain them. Learn general and type-specific ways to create emotional safety that prevents protesting, how to respond during protest episodes to de-escalate rather than inflame, and repair strategies that actually heal after damage occurs. Includes the escalation pattern most couples miss and practical tools for building marriages where direct communication feels safer than protesting. Watch on YouTube! Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen to Christa on The Allender Center Podcast here! Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(605)

The Blind Spots Between Us, with Beatrice Chestnut, 2

Christa welcomes the beloved Beatrice Chestnut, one of the most respected voices in the Enneagram world, for a rich conversation on the three centers of intelligence, the body, the heart, and the head...

10 Aug 53min

Where Our Deeper Needs Really Belong with Coach Linda Hannigan, 3

This week Christa welcomes Linda Hannigan, 3 (3-1 pairing), an Enneagram and Marriage certified coach, gifted orator, and truth teller whose candor and artistry make her a joy to learn from. Together ...

5 Aug 43min

Feeling Unnoticed in Marriage: What Your Spouse Can't Do for You

So many of us have handed our spouse a job description they were never meant to fill, to notice our every need, validate our worth, provide our purpose, and keep us feeling seen, alive, and whole. And...

3 Aug 23min

The Intimacy of Being Believed In: The Michelangelo Effect

Close partners sculpt one another by drawing out each other's ideal self, as we learn from the Michelangelo phenomenon, we find that couples who idealize each other are more likely to last and even g...

29 Jul 18min

The Body Keeps the Score in the Bedroom: Intimacy, Safety, and Learning to Regulate

We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has ...

27 Jul 19min

How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers...

22 Jul 37min

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and s...

22 Jul 19min

The Art of (Married) Seduction w/Dr. Anna Elton, PhD

Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework fo...

20 Jul 40min