251. Underwhelming Orgasms, Sh*tty Marriages & the 411 on Birth Control

Im here and this one is a fucking RIDE...first its a story time of a CRAZY ass man who physically attacked me in the Houston IAH airport, its weird, its horrifying, and it happened to lucky ol me lol. I super unfortunately blackout and get on the topic of hemmoroids and I just go for it , Im MENTION-ing IT ALL, what to do if the men have one, or what to do if we ever do (we never do men we never do, forgive us we have sinned) can we have anal ever again?!?! no worries sluts, and constipated people I have solutions!!! Last but not fucking least, the perfect hang over cure; being eaten out. TUNE IN

19 Jul 202148min

Lets talk about how much were getting it in.. How much sex are married people REALLY having? Im back horny fam, First things first I had to vent about some recent pop culture; why is Oliva Rodrigo is so much hotter than Tswift, why "Bennifer" doesn't sit well with me and why the Patreon got the 86. Then we go deeper, Im asking questions and peeling back the layers that is "a married persons sex life" I'm telling you the reality about my own sex life, and how I think we need to realize there is no such thing as normal; I want call out the people who lie about how much sex their having ,because lets face it, we have enough bullshit all over the internet lets not add to the BS list.. There is a difference between your desires and what is actually going on. We all differ, we all have our truths, and today we are giving ourselves grace and inspiring you on how to do more to get more!

12 Jul 202148min

Im back this week with a recap of what the fuck is up, my thirst omegle self, and have a bunch of feedback from YOU ALL about what "wife material" looks like!! I asked men and women what their POV on the topic was, and of course I let you know my opinion on how to be "your best wife version", so he takes you seriously, and not like a one night stand.

5 Jul 202140min

Drake said it first; and we didn't know how we felt, thought maybe a little snotty..but NOPE hell naw, he is was right NO NEW FRIENDS. Jordyn is here to tell you the storytime of a lifetime. Twilight zone meets Bad girls club, Jordyn experienced a "Class A Looney Bitch" and wants to tell you all the things including a universal lesson in perspective; stop comparing yourself to other women on the internet! This housewife is not holding back her side of the story, nor her feelings and anger towards Chloe who taught her a couple of things, new money sometimes = tacky bitches, too much new money = god complex, if she has no friends chances are you aren't going to be her first one. lets talk shit, its def a MOODY MONDAY. lets go.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

28 Jun 20211h 16min

Im sure Im not the only one who has scrolled their nudes next to a person on the plane, or am I? Speaking of nudes, we have a mini trauma story of the time my nudes were leaked....at my place of work; a story that organically presented itself this episode and come on 'editing it out 'is for the weak. This episode I am catching you up not only with my new found love of anal orgasms, but with some self realizations I have had with some time spent alone in the heat (spoiler alert, the grass aint greener on the other side people).....Its not a story time (coming SO soon), but a peek at some life lessons that shook me to the core. Hope you enjoy you this better-late-than-never EP! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

23 Jun 202146min

Hey Horny Fam, this week its all things double standards. What exactly constitutes being hypocritical in the relationship/marriage? Do you trip out when your man says its boys night, is he giving you a hard time when you say your going out with ur gal pal slutty-suzy ? Does that make one of you feel insecure and is it justified? What if your person has cheated on you before, does that excuse being a little nutty, or is it time to move forward and quit keeping score. I am being brutally honest in this weeks episode on my thoughts regarding expectations that are fair to have, and spoiler alert it frankly isn't anyone else's business on what standards you have in your own relationship. Don't fret it isn't holding me back from calling it like it is, all in hopes to enlighten men and women on SEVERAL standards we harshly critique the other for, and that maybe with a little perspective we can see it another way. Also letting you know my plans for the week, my recent Tik Tok diagnosis', and whats coming soon. =P

14 Jun 20211h 1min

Taste the rainbow. Literally try them all. Jordyn here this week going over where she's at mentally whilst her husband is away on a fishing trip. The main focus of this episode is to shallow-ly and intentionally go over all the aesthetics of the male member. Long dicks, small dicks, curved dicks, hairy dicks. Pick a flavor any flavor. Im here giving you the real scoop, and of course my honest to god opinion on what the hell is going on below the belt, and why I feel justified in talking about it freely as I please. Metrosexuals, manscaping, and Arabian sand goggles lets talk about some shit. Am I thriving or am I crying myself to sleep every night, you'll have to tune in and find out.

7 Jun 202140min

Female Friendships, Women Empowerment, Your friendly fake as f*ck neighborhood b*tches. Lets mention it allllllllll. Im back this week, just me the devil on my shoulder, and the positive little heart felt angel b*tch on the other side, covering what it means to be a woman in society today trying to find some mother freaking friends. I wont lie, I was a little shit talking beezy in this MOODY MONDAY episode, but we are here for it. Let her live. Diving deep this week on the difference on why we view women as threats or not. Why and how do we click? How has society impacted how we view one another? Why is my neighbor such a bitch to me? hehe, Im really letting myself air it out this week, and tie it all together with a little koom-ba-yaaa at the end. love you xoxoSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

31 Mai 202156min