Enneagram and Marriage10 Sep 2025

The Stories We Tell About Each Other: Shaping Healthy Narratives in Marriage

Transform your marriage by understanding how the stories you tell about your partner's Enneagram type literally create your relationship reality. Marriage coach Christa dives deep into the psychology of narrative and reveals how negative internal stories become self-fulfilling prophecies that either invite growth or trigger defensiveness in your spouse. Discover the neuroscience behind why focusing on your partner's growth edges blinds you to their gifts, and learn the "both/and" approach that separates challenging behaviors from core identity. Explore how every type's greatest strength and biggest struggle are intrinsically connected, why defensive responses actually prove negative narratives "right," and how shifting your internal narrative changes your partner's capacity to show up differently. Master the art of holding both truth and grace simultaneously - acknowledging real growth areas while honoring the positive intentions behind difficult behaviors. Essential listening for couples ready to move beyond toxic storytelling patterns and create narratives that see their partner's highest potential while maintaining healthy accountability. Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Begin your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(594)

Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

We tend to think of physical intimacy as a moment, here and then gone. But the research reveals it is actually a window, a lingering afterglow that lasts up to forty-eight hours, and what happens insi...

8 Jul 21min

Initiation: Who Reaches, Who Pulls Back, and Why

Almost every couple navigates it, and almost nobody talks about it openly: the vulnerable dance of initiation. Who reaches for whom, who tends to pull back, and the quiet hurt that builds around it ov...

6 Jul 21min

Lighting (Safe but Sexy) Fireworks in Your Marriage

Today we open the July series on sexual intimacy, and there's no better week for lighting the (safe but sexy) fireworks. Not the ones in the sky, the ones in your marriage. Christa dismantles the myth...

1 Jul 22min

The Foundation Before the (Sexual) Fireworks

This is the turning point of the Summer of Intimacy, the bridge from everything we have built in June into the sexual intimacy series beginning in July. But this episode names something deeper that ha...

29 Jun 22min

Two Essential Paths to Intimacy: Joy and Connection

In this crowning summer episode every listener needs to lean in for, Christa unpacks the two paths back to each other: connection, the path of being deeply known, grounded in John Gottman's research o...

24 Jun 20min

25 Years In: What I've Learned About Intimacy

Today Christa talks through 25 years of marriage to Wes - and instead of a typical teaching episode, we're reflecting on the story arc of marriages that thrive. Christa shares a lessonn about her own ...

22 Jun 24min

Subscriber Series: The Container Method - Emotional Safety for Every Type in Marriage (Free to All This Week!)

This week's deep dive is FREE for everyone, and we mean everyone. Whether you're a longtime Collective member or brand new here, this one's a gift. We're going deeper into emotional processing contain...

17 Jun 19min

What to Do When Sharing Backfires: Emotional Processing Containers

When you finally open up and say the vulnerable thing that needed to be said and shared, what next? Often, your spouse gets defensive, shuts down, or fires back, and now you're less likely to ever sha...

17 Jun 16min