How to Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a Bad Person)

If setting boundaries makes you anxious, guilty, or afraid they’ll walk away—you’re exactly who this episode was made for.

In this powerful solo episode, I unpack the complicated relationship anxious attachers have with boundaries—and why setting them can feel so triggering. We explore the real reasons guilt shows up, the role of nervous system dysregulation, and why some boundaries feel more like walls (and what to do about it).

You’ll learn:

• The difference between a boundary and a request—and why it matters
• Why boundaries don’t have to be dramatic or confrontational
• How nervous system regulation plays a role in boundary success
• Common myths that keep anxious attachers stuck in self-abandonment
• Scripts and mindset shifts for setting (and keeping) boundaries without guilt
• Why boundaries with yourself are just as important

Plus, I share some of my favorite quotes about boundary-setting and walk you through how to identify where in your life a boundary might be overdue. Boundaries aren’t about control. They’re about connection—starting with the one you have with yourself.

Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:

• Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com
• Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
• Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit
• Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching
• Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

Keywords: anxious attachment, boundaries, requests, guilt, nervous system, self-care, emotional well-being, communication, personal growth, relationship advice