The Science Behind Your Need to Please

The Science Behind Your Need to Please

If you've ever been called a "people pleaser" or found yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own, what you're experiencing may actually be a trauma response called fawning. In the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back, clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains this often overlooked alternative to fight-flight-freeze, an effort to appease threats by trying to make oneself more appealing. Whether in relationships, work, or family dynamics, understanding this pattern can help you reclaim your voice and authentic self. 📱 Follow The Next Big Idea Daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen 📩 Want more bite-sized insights from the best new nonfiction delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for our Book of the Day newsletter

Episoder(790)

"Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure" by Maggie Jackson

"Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure" by Maggie Jackson

Today, author Maggie Jackson offers a guide to flourishing in times of flux and angst by harnessing the overlooked power of our uncertainty.

5 Jan 202415min

"What the Taliban Told Me" By Ian Fritz

"What the Taliban Told Me" By Ian Fritz

Have you ever met an airborne cryptologic linguist? No? Well, today's your lucky day. We're joined by Ian Fritz who has written a new memoir about coming-of-age in a war that is lost.

4 Jan 202410min

"Nuts and Bolts: Seven Small Inventions That Changed the World (in a Big Way)" by Roma Agrawal

"Nuts and Bolts: Seven Small Inventions That Changed the World (in a Big Way)" by Roma Agrawal

A structural engineer examines the basic building blocks of engineering that have shaped the modern world.

3 Jan 202416min

"Sweat: A History of Exercise" by Bill Hayes

"Sweat: A History of Exercise" by Bill Hayes

Exercise isn't just our modern obsession: the ancients were keen on it, too. That's according to award-winning journalist Bill Hayes, who joins us today to describe how our fanaticism for working out ...

2 Jan 202415min

Best Of: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing (with Brad Stulberg)

Best Of: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing (with Brad Stulberg)

Change is not the exception, it’s the rule. Today, Brad Stulberg ("Master of Change") tells us how to deal with it.

1 Jan 202410min

Best Of: Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey

Best Of: Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey

You can get happier. And getting there will be the adventure of your lifetime. Harvard professor Arthur C. Brooks shares a few tips on how to do it from his new book — co-written with the one and only...

29 Des 202315min

Best Of: Rainn Wilson ("The Office") on Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution

Best Of: Rainn Wilson ("The Office") on Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution

Actor, producer, and writer Rainn Wilson ("The Office") explores the problem-solving benefits that spirituality gives us to create solutions for an increasingly challenging world.

28 Des 202314min

Best Of: Shankar Vedantam on the Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain

Best Of: Shankar Vedantam on the Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain

Today, Shankar Vedantam, host of "Hidden Brain," walks us through the surprising role of self-deception in human flourishing.

27 Des 202316min

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