The Science Behind Your Need to Please

The Science Behind Your Need to Please

If you've ever been called a "people pleaser" or found yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own, what you're experiencing may actually be a trauma response called fawning. In the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back, clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains this often overlooked alternative to fight-flight-freeze, an effort to appease threats by trying to make oneself more appealing. Whether in relationships, work, or family dynamics, understanding this pattern can help you reclaim your voice and authentic self. 📱 Follow The Next Big Idea Daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen 📩 Want more bite-sized insights from the best new nonfiction delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for our Book of the Day newsletter

Episoder(787)

S17 E2: Happiness Isn’t Where You Thought It Would Be (Sharon Salzberg)

S17 E2: Happiness Isn’t Where You Thought It Would Be (Sharon Salzberg)

Society’s prescriptions for freedom, happiness, and abundance may not be your own.

23 Mai 202311min

S17 E1: Contraction Limits Creativity and Connection (Sharon Salzberg)

S17 E1: Contraction Limits Creativity and Connection (Sharon Salzberg)

Sharon Salzberg has been meditating since 1971 — “since before it was cool,” she likes to say. That practice has inspired a series of books, most recently “Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Ope...

22 Mai 202314min

S16 E5: The Most Durable Habits Are Elastic (Katy Milkman)

S16 E5: The Most Durable Habits Are Elastic (Katy Milkman)

All week, Wharton professor Katy Milkman has been giving us research-backed tips for making changes that stick. Now, in the final installment of her mini masterclass, she explains why the most durable...

19 Mai 202313min

S16 E4: You Might Want to Form an Advice Club (Katy Milkman)

S16 E4: You Might Want to Form an Advice Club (Katy Milkman)

Struggling to achieve a goal? Form a club with people who have your back.

18 Mai 202310min

S16 E3: The Enjoyable Path Is Better Than the Effective One (Katy Milkman)

S16 E3: The Enjoyable Path Is Better Than the Effective One (Katy Milkman)

How do you make change fun? By bundling an arduous task (exercising) with an enjoyable one (binge-watching lowbrow TV). --- Have you heard about our book boxes? Every quarter, we’ll send you the seaso...

17 Mai 202310min

S16 E2: Use Fresh Starts to Kick-Start Change (Katy Milkman)

S16 E2: Use Fresh Starts to Kick-Start Change (Katy Milkman)

New Year’s. Your birthday. The start of a new season. These are days when the slate is wiped clean. Which makes them perfect for establishing new habits, like going to the gym or writing in your diary...

16 Mai 202310min

S16 E1: To Make a Change, Plan a Tailored Attack (Katy Milkman)

S16 E1: To Make a Change, Plan a Tailored Attack (Katy Milkman)

How do you get from where you are to where you want to be — from procrastinator to optimizer, couch potato to gym rat, night owl to worm-getting early bird? That's the question Wharton professor Katy ...

15 Mai 202315min

S15 E5: You Will Botch It (Matt Croasmun & Ryan McAnnally-Linz)

S15 E5: You Will Botch It (Matt Croasmun & Ryan McAnnally-Linz)

Have you figured out how to live the good life? Don't worry if you're still working on it. It's only been a week. And you haven't even heard the final piece of advice from Matt Croasmun and Ryan McAnn...

12 Mai 202311min

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