Episode 60: Intimacy, Sex, and Divorce: The Naked Truth with Leslie Morgan Steiner

This week we are talking all about sexuality and intimacy after divorce. My guest is Leslie Morgan Steiner, a New York Times best-selling author, columnist for The Washington Post, speaker on work/family balance, successful corporate executive – and domestic violence survivor.

Two truths can co-exist. You can be relieved your soon-to-be ex is moving out and grief-stricken at the same time. You can be happy and sad, at the same. This is part of the complexity of human emotions. There's nothing wrong with you for experiencing a wide range of them. There is nothing wrong with you. Nobody knows this better than Leslie.

Leslie's memoir, Crazy Love, is an account of her violently abusive first marriage. It's about this kind of complexity, how we can deeply love and deeply fear one person at the same time. Her latest memoir, The Naked Truth, explores these dualities as well as she writes about female sexuality, self-esteem, and dating after 50.

Show Highlights

• The power of sisterhood and how women are always an inspiration to other women (3:18)
• Coming out of a marriage desexualized and losing touch with your sexuality (6:00)
• Perfection has nothing to do with sexuality (12:00)
• Getting to a point where you can enjoy and love sex (15:00)
• The stigma and shame around having sex after divorce if the divorce has not been finalized (22:38)
• Women who are vulnerable to abusers, how to break the cycle; and Leslie shares her story of domestic abuse (28:14)
• Why learning how to trust yourself again rather than trusting others is paramount following an abusive relationship (33:23)
• Leslie drops this truth bomb: "I can't look for a man to heal me." (38:00)
• Men struggle with intimacy just as much as women do (39:00)
• Leslie shares her thoughts on coaxing a man to fall in love with you (42:00)
• The myth of Prince Charming is destructive to women and unfair to men too (49:09)

Learn More About Leslie:

Leslie Morgan Steiner is the author of four nonfiction books: the New York Times bestselling memoir Crazy Love; the critically acclaimed anthology Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families; The Baby Chase: How Surrogacy is Transforming the American Family; and her latest memoir, The Naked Truth, which explores female sexuality, self-esteem and dating after 50.

From 2006-2008 she wrote over 500 columns for the Washington Post's popular on-line work/family column, "On Balance." She currently writes the Two Cents on Modern Motherhood column for ModernMom.com and MommyTracked.com. Her writing has appeared in Glamour, Psychology Today, Redbook, The Washington Post, the New York Times and other publications.

Steiner holds a BA in English from Harvard College. Her first job was writing and editing for Seventeen Magazine. After graduating from Wharton in 1992 with an MBA in Marketing, she launched Splenda Brand Sweetener internationally for Johnson & Johnson. She returned to her hometown of Washington, DC in 2001 to become General Manager of the 1.1 million-circulation Washington Post Magazine, a position she held for five years.

Steiner is a regular guest on The Today Show, National Public Radio, ABC, NBC, CBS, and cable news networks. She has appeared in Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Elle, Parents, Self, Vogue, Vanity Fair, The Los Angeles Times, and CNN.com. She is a frequent speaker and consultant on the subjects of marketing to moms and ending family violence. Her 2012 TEDTalk about domestic violence has been viewed by over five million people, and in 2014 she completed her second TEDTalk exploring the ethics of global surrogacy.

She serves as a board member for the One Love Foundation, in honor of slain University of Virginia senior Yeardley Love.

Leslie Morgan Steiner lives in Washington, DC, New York, and New Hampshire.

Resources & Links:
Leslie's website

Leslie on Facebook
Leslie on Instagram
Leslie on YouTube
Leslie on LinkedIn
Leslie on Twitter

Trauma Bonds: How to recognize them, break them, and co-parent through them
The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group