Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

There’s a widely held assumption that if you have a warmer, friendlier relationship with yourself, you will not only slack off and be ineffective, but also that you will be a doormat. My guest today says: not true. She’s making the case that self-compassion, when properly understood, can lead to a kind of ferocity. It can help you stand up for yourself and others. Kristin Neff is the central pioneer in the field of self-compassion research and her work has had a massive impact on me and my own work. She is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She’s the author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and now she has a new book, called Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. This conversation is for everyone, whether you identify as a woman or not. These concepts are universal, although, as you will hear Kristen argue, there is special importance for women. And speaking of gender, we are dedicating this week to that subject. Coming up on Wednesday, we’re going to talk about masculinity with a guest named Daniel Ellenberg. In this episode with Kristin Neff, we talk about: tender self-compassion vs. fierce self-compassion; the three main forms of fierce self-compassion; how to take a fierce self-compassion break; destructive vs. constructive anger; why she wrote the book specifically for women, and why you should read it, regardless of your gender socialization; how men can help the women in their lives develop this kind of ferocity; and how self-compassion can help us face our biases. For more resources on self-compassion, you can download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff-360

Episoder(932)

Moby and Google's Bill Duane at Wanderlust Hollywood (Live!)

Moby and Google's Bill Duane at Wanderlust Hollywood (Live!)

In the final installment from the "10% Happier" road trip, Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren ended their cross-country tour at a Wanderlust Hollywood event in February, where they hosted a live discussion and Q&A with recording artist Moby and Bill Duane, the Superintendent of Well-Being at Google. The guys offered their advice on how to overcome meditation frustrations.

9 Aug 201748min

Anurag Gupta, Attorney 'Hacking' Unconscious Bias

Anurag Gupta, Attorney 'Hacking' Unconscious Bias

Anurag Gupta, who immigrated to the U.S. from India at age 10, has devoted much of his adult life to helping reduce racial inequality and transform bias into awareness and understanding with mindfulness techniques. An attorney and mindfulness expert, Gupta founded BE MORE America, a non-profit that works with various organizations, including hospitals, banks, tech firms and police academies, to train professionals on how to eliminate bias in hiring and decision making.

2 Aug 201750min

Rich Roll, Vegan Ultra-Endurance Athlete

Rich Roll, Vegan Ultra-Endurance Athlete

Shortly before his 40th birthday, Rich Roll was walking up a flight of stairs when he suddenly felt like he was about to have a heart attack. That terrifying moment led the former entertainment attorney, who had already been through rehab for alcohol abuse, to overhaul his lifestyle and now he is a dedicated vegan who has completed some of the world's most grueling and extreme endurance races.

26 Jul 201738min

Lt. Richard Goerling, Mindfulness in Police Work

Lt. Richard Goerling, Mindfulness in Police Work

At a time when there have been controversial police shootings of unarmed civilians and many officers risking their lives to protect their communities feel under siege, one potentially constructive element being introduced into this highly-charged atmosphere is mindfulness. Richard Goerling, a police lieutenant in Hillsboro, Oregon, who has served in law enforcement for 20 years, works with police departments around the country to teach officers how reduce stress, combat unnecessary use of force and make smarter decisions in the field through mindfulness training.

19 Jul 201754min

Virginia Heffernan: Writer, 'Trumpcast' Podcast Co-Host

Virginia Heffernan: Writer, 'Trumpcast' Podcast Co-Host

Virginia Heffernan, who has written for several major publications including as a television and Internet culture columnist for the New York Times, opens up for the first time about her addiction to prescription drugs and her decision to get sober. The author of "Magic and Loss: The Internet as Art" and a co-host for Slate's "Trumpcast" podcast, Heffernan talks about the turmoil she was facing in her work and personal life, her relationship with religion and her Twitter persona @Page88.

12 Jul 20171h 3min

Rep. Tim Ryan, Teaching Congress to Meditate

Rep. Tim Ryan, Teaching Congress to Meditate

In another installment from the "10% Happier" road trip, Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren sat down with Rep. Tim Ryan, D-Ohio, at the congressman's office on Capitol Hill in January shortly after President Trump's inauguration. Ryan, who has been meditating for years, talks about bringing in teachers to host meditation sessions for members of Congress and their staffs, and why he believes meditation should be taught in public schools.

5 Jul 201735min

Gary Vaynerchuk, Media Industry Leader

Gary Vaynerchuk, Media Industry Leader

VanyerMedia CEO Gary Vaynerchuk got his start as "the wine guy" when he launched one of the first wine e-commerce websites in the U.S. He began making a wine video blog as YouTube was coming up and went on to build an entire social media-focused empire. Vaynerchuk was skeptical of trying meditation, so Dan brought in mindfulness teacher Cory Muscara (Ep. #82) to help.

28 Jun 201743min

Mark Coleman, Meditating in the Great Outdoors

Mark Coleman, Meditating in the Great Outdoors

Renowned mindfulness teacher Mark Coleman, founder of Awake in the Wild and The Mindfulness Institute, has led wilderness meditation retreats from Alaska to Peru. Coleman talks about making peace with our "judging thoughts" and how nature can "open the heart" and relieve stress, even if you're stuck on a cross-country flight and taking notice of the landscape below or just taking a moment to feel the wind on your face.

21 Jun 201751min

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