95. S8 E3: Shelving the quest for normal: reframing, regulating, and removing the stigma from autism

95. S8 E3: Shelving the quest for normal: reframing, regulating, and removing the stigma from autism

Ebonie Allard is an award-winning International Master Coach, an author, and an artist. Now in her early 40s, she was mostly raised in the UK, but before she was seven years old she had lived in a house truck, on a commune, in France, New Zealand, Ireland, and England. She now lives in Spain.

She says that she has never had a 'proper job' - she's been self-employed, a freelancer, a business owner and an entrepreneur all her life.

Ebonie was diagnosed autistic fairly recently, but has always drawn neurodivergent people to her, and her work helps other neurodivergent, creative and spiritual humans to self actualise and enjoy their physical experience.

I enjoyed this conversation so much - Ebonie is such a calming presence and brings a wonderful mix of wisdom and down-to-earthness. In our conversation we talk about:

➡ Reframing our past lives and selves

➡ Replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones

➡ Learning to embrace our demons, process emotions and regulate our nervous systems

➡ Removing stigma around meltdowns, stimming and other natural autistic things

Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.

I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

I'm Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I'm now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn't quite fit.

EPISODE LINKS:

Ebonie's course, Misfit to Maven: the Fundamentals https://www.ebonieallard.com/the-fundamentals

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eboniealchemy/

This Sacrosanct Life podcast: https://www.ebonieallard.com/podcasts/this-sacrosanct-life

Adulting with Ebonie podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5BW278BdWdxI4dTuBpc1BY

Her book, Misfit to Maven (that we reference in this episode): https://www.ebonieallard.com/misfit-to-maven-book

Her book 'The Manual of Me®️': https://www.ebonieallard.com/the-manual-of-me

If you'd like to connect or get in touch with Squarepeg, you can find me on:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/

Or on my website: https://squarepeg.community/

THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!

A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:

Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catrin Green, Cindy Bailey, Clare Forrest, Clare Holmes, Corinne Cariad, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Dawn Trevellion, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Fiona Connor, Galina, Gwyneth, Hannah Breslin, Jackie Allen, JF, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine Lynch, Kenneth Knowles, Laura, Laurencia Saenz Benavides, Lea Li, Leo Ricketts, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, MN, Paul Harris, Pete Burke, Rebecca Biegel, Rebecca Kemp, Sarah Cottrell, Sarah Jeffery, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Swanton, Suzanna Chen, Suzanne, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tegan Bailey, Tessa Valyou, Tree Hall, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Victoria Chang, Victoria Routledge, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.

If you're enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

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Episoder(160)

159 [S11 E14] From the inside out: autistic embodiment, burnouts and breakthroughs

159 [S11 E14] From the inside out: autistic embodiment, burnouts and breakthroughs

Victoria Gray is an artist and a coach to neurodivergent artists. She lives in York in the UK and was formally diagnosed as autistic in 2017, aged 34. Victoria has spent two decades making and perform...

8 Aug 1h 35min

158 [S11 E13] Listening to myself at last: autistic midlife, grief and new beginnings

158 [S11 E13] Listening to myself at last: autistic midlife, grief and new beginnings

Lucy Hogg was formally recognised as autistic in 2018. She describes her life as 'messy', impacted by PTSD from an accident and years of trying to convince therapists that she is autistic, as well as ...

25 Jul 1h 5min

157 [S11 E12] Talking to strangers: podcasting my way into a late autism discovery

157 [S11 E12] Talking to strangers: podcasting my way into a late autism discovery

Carolyn Kiel is the host of Beyond 6 Seconds, a multi-award-winning neurodiversity podcast. She started her podcast in 2018 as a general interest interview show, but in 2022 she shifted the focus to n...

18 Jul 1h 6min

156 [S11 E11] Coming home to myself: feeling 'good enough', unmasking and moving towards self love

156 [S11 E11] Coming home to myself: feeling 'good enough', unmasking and moving towards self love

Abs Lee is a carer, gardener and cleaner from Suffolk in the UK. Now 54, she was formally identified as autistic early in 2020, in the midst of the pandemic and lockdown. She's a parent to an AuDHD, q...

11 Jul 1h 6min

155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

Toni Borneo was formally recognised as autistic two years ago, at age 42 - something that has saved and completely changed her life. For her, the process of unmasking uncovered complex, long term ment...

4 Jul 1h 11min

154 [S11 E9] Finding a really cool rock: figuring out life and work without an 'autistic starter pack'

154 [S11 E9] Finding a really cool rock: figuring out life and work without an 'autistic starter pack'

Phoebe Taylor is a Canadian writer and artist whose work attempts to translate the experience of autism from the inside out. 'Fired from every job she ever had', she decided to explore self employment...

13 Jun 1h 13min

153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

Phoenix* is 44 and from The Netherlands. She has a PhD in philosophy and worked in academia for several years, before experiencing a severe burnout in her early thirties. Phoenix started seriously con...

6 Jun 1h 7min

152 [S11 E7] Sparkly things and heavy loads: autistic menopause, academia and lived experience

152 [S11 E7] Sparkly things and heavy loads: autistic menopause, academia and lived experience

Dr Rachel Mosely was halfway through her second postdoctoral job in autism research when she learnt that she herself had been suspected as being autistic as a child. After some investigation, she was ...

30 Mai 1h 8min

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