229.  “I’m almost 50 and have nothing to show for my life”

229.  “I’m almost 50 and have nothing to show for my life”

Christine (47) and Thad (57) have been together for more than six years, but instead of building wealth, they’re buried under nearly $340,000 of debt. Christine, the self-appointed “CFO,” is exhausted from tracking every bill, while Thad avoids the details and spends freely. Their conflicting money mindsets (Christine craving stability, Thad living for the moment) have stalled their big dreams like buying a home or taking Rich Life vacations that Christine longs for. With almost no savings and retirement looming, Christine fears she’s approaching 50 with nothing to show for her hard work, while Thad insists a single plan will solve everything. Can Ramit help them break the cycle of avoidance and control, align their priorities, and finally start acting like teammates? In this episode we uncover: • Why Christine feels she’s approaching 50 with “nothing to show” for her life • Thad’s $17,000 student loan that ballooned up to $125,000 • How Christine became the household “CFO” while Thad continues to avoid responsibility • Their real numbers—and why Christine feels so stressed • Christine’s frustration over micromanaging bills • Thad’s upbringing in poverty • The invisible power of shame and fear, and why they can’t see what’s right in front of them financially • Christine’s childhood lessons from parents who bought an unaffordable home • Thad’s stark admission: if nothing changes, he’ll be homeless Chapters: (00:00:00) When a worrier and an avoider meet… (00:02:59) “We have a plan… don’t we?” (00:15:52) “Where is all the money going?” (00:19:54) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:33:46) “I never expected to live past 30” (00:48:30) “I wish my dad was able to say no” (00:56:33) “I don’t believe he’ll follow through” (01:05:11) “We need to be playing way bigger” (01:22:38) “I don’t feel like I have the power” (01:36:54) Where are they now? Christine and Thad’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Doola | Go to https://doola.com.ramit and use code RAMIT for 10% off LLC formation and bookkeeping. Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Netsuite | Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://netsuite.com/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Episoder(259)

10. “Money is overwhelming so we find instant gratification elsewhere”

10. “Money is overwhelming so we find instant gratification elsewhere”

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9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

Jordan wasn't raised to talk about money. She constantly saw her mom withhold money matters from her dad, and now, history is repeating itself. Jordan has hidden her debt from her husband, Dan, twice....

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8. “My wife is spending too much money”

8. “My wife is spending too much money”

Natalia prioritizes experiences over finances. She doesn’t want to miss out on life, so if she wants to visit her family, she doesn’t wait to check their budget -- she gets on a plane. Andres, on the ...

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7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

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Barry is a first-generation Pakistani immigrant. His wife, Maria, is also Pakistani and was born and raised in the United States. Cultural expectations are making it difficult to get aligned on their ...

31 Aug 202147min

6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

Jessica grew up wealthy in New York City. She can't imagine her life anywhere that's not within walking distance to the coffee shop, the best schools, and her parents (who live two blocks away). Her h...

24 Aug 202146min

5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

Sheena has paid off a huge chunk of her student debt. Peter wants to plan a trip to Japan for their 10th anniversary and decorate their apartment, but Sheena’s first reaction is, “How will we afford i...

17 Aug 202137min

4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

John has a lot of debt. Wendy knew about the $450k he owed when they started their relationship, over ten years ago, but she only found out what the current number is the day before their call with me...

10 Aug 202149min

3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

Calvin feels he needs to be the “man of the house” and pay for everything. There’s just one problem: He can’t afford it. Every month he’s in the red, leading him to be anxious around money. Chantha li...

6 Aug 202146min

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