Invalidating Each Other's Feelings - The Sneaky Ways You Do This To Each Other & How To Stop Episode 85

Invalidating Each Other's Feelings - The Sneaky Ways You Do This To Each Other & How To Stop Episode 85

So here you are, trying to share with your partner something that is important to you and something that you feel emotion around… Then they say something like: "you are overreacting, it's not that big of a deal", or even "that doesn't make sense!"

You immediately feel invalidated and maybe that your feelings don't matter, right? This causes many upsets and conflicts for couples and at the very least, disconnects you from love and understanding from your partner.

Today's topic came from a coaching session we had this week, in which we then posted this question to our couples community: "Do you ever notice that you feel your emotions are invalidated by your partner, what has you feel that way?" There were many replies and great examples of the words and actions that caused people to feel invalidated (we will cover a number of them).

From this episode you'll take away:

  • What causes you to feel invalidated
  • The 3 reasons why this is used as a defensive mechanism
  • The new actions to take to keep from invalidating each other's emotions

Quotes:

"Yes there are universal truths, but there are also personal truths, for both you and your partner. What you BOTH are feeling right now are both true for YOU!" - Aaron

About Us:

We're The Freemans, your go-to couple for authentic and actionable relationship advice. Send us your relationship questions for the show with a DM on Instagram

Resources For Your Relationship:

  1. As you listen to the episode, tag us on an IG story and let us know what you loved.
  2. Get a FREE hard copy of the book 📚 The New Power Couple (just pay shipping)
  3. Get 50% OFF The Couples Workshop (online home edition) to practice communication skills, resolve recurring disagreements, and connect more than ever!
  4. Follow us on Instagram

Episoder(438)

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Stop Reacting and Start Responding (How to Take Control of Your Emotions in Marriage): Episode 406

You want to feel peace, love, and connection—especially in your marriage. But when something disrupts that inner calm, it's easy to slip into old patterns: snapping, shutting down, blaming. Sound fami...

22 Jul 202519min

Why Labeling Your Spouse is More Damaging Than You Think: Episode 405

Why Labeling Your Spouse is More Damaging Than You Think: Episode 405

Every couple has conflict. But when disagreements turn into labeling your spouse—with words like "selfish," "dramatic," or "narcissist"—it doesn't just hurt in the moment… it chips away at emotional s...

15 Jul 202517min

Stop Tip-Toeing Around Each Other's Triggers (How to Create Real Emotional Safety in Marriage): Episode 404

Stop Tip-Toeing Around Each Other's Triggers (How to Create Real Emotional Safety in Marriage): Episode 404

You don't just marry your partner's strengths—you marry their triggers too. If you've found yourself walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off… or shutting down because you feel like you're too m...

8 Jul 202529min

What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What's Not Okay: Episode 403

What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What's Not Okay: Episode 403

Just because something is common in marriage doesn't mean it's healthy. We've heard countless couples ask: "Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?" "Are we still okay, even though...

1 Jul 202548min

Your Brain's Default Settings Could Be Sabotaging Your Marriage (How Neuroscience Reveals Your Blocks) with John Assaraf: Episode 402

Your Brain's Default Settings Could Be Sabotaging Your Marriage (How Neuroscience Reveals Your Blocks) with John Assaraf: Episode 402

Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in succes...

26 Jun 202549min

Double Standards in Marriage: When It Feels Like the Rules Are Different for You: Episode 401

Double Standards in Marriage: When It Feels Like the Rules Are Different for You: Episode 401

Few things create more frustration in a marriage than the feeling of a double standard—when it seems like the rules are different for you than for your partner. Whether it's around emotional regulatio...

24 Jun 202513min

Types of Boundaries You Must Establish to Protect Your Marriage: Episode 400

Types of Boundaries You Must Establish to Protect Your Marriage: Episode 400

You want your marriage to feel like a place of joy, momentum, and shared purpose—not just survival mode. Just like in any great sport, the most fulfilling performance only happens inside clear, agreed...

17 Jun 202528min

What is Co-Regulation and How to Do It Effectively (So You Don't Dysregulate Each Other): Episode 399

What is Co-Regulation and How to Do It Effectively (So You Don't Dysregulate Each Other): Episode 399

Your emotional state doesn't just affect you—it affects your partner, too. In fact, if you don't learn how to co-regulate, you'll unintentionally become each other's stressor instead of each other's s...

10 Jun 202535min

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