When Mainstream School Doesn’t Fit: How to Find Belonging and Support

When Mainstream School Doesn’t Fit: How to Find Belonging and Support

How do you know if your child is truly thriving in their current school environment—and what can you do if they’re not? Cliff shares his family’s journey of navigating the challenges of mainstream education for Eva and the emotional and practical hurdles of transitioning to a special needs school. He explains how to effectively advocate for your child and navigate the assessment and support processes. I’d love for you to join our new Discord community. Meta is shutting down Facebook Messenger community chats in Oct 2025— so this is where we’ll carry on the conversation. This isn’t just another chat room. It’s a space for parents raising kids with Autism and ADHD to connect, share, and support each other EPISODE REVEALS Explore alternatives if your child is struggling. Open communication with schools, dressing formally for meetings, and presenting clear solutions can help parents advocate more effectively for their children. But be ready to meet and overcome resistance. Parents need to trust their instincts. Remember you are not alone in this journey. Transitioning to a special needs school can be life-changing, leading to improved happiness, confidence, and well-being for children who don’t fit in well into mainstream settings. BEST MOMENTS "We spent five or six years fighting for our daughter to have her diagnosis to start with, and then the HCP, which was continually declined." "I'd like to get across to anyone who's listening to this, always advocate for your child.” "If you control, try not to control with fear, all you will get is either a shutdown, a meltdown or a refusal to comply.” “Too many rules and too much strictness will break your children.” EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.senachieve.co.uk Episode 1 of Parenting Autism and ADHD podcast and access to all other episodes mentioned - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/what-needs-to-change-in-the-education-system-wendy/id1810681675?i=1000716399709 “What To do when your child shuts down” book out now - https://amzn.eu/d/iOMsOrF New Parenting Autism and ADHD community - Because Meta is shutting down FB messenger community chats, we can continue the conversation here on Discord - https://discord.gg/SbXd34QV CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

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Episoder(66)

The Great ADHD Myth? Do You Feel Safe?

The Great ADHD Myth? Do You Feel Safe?

In this episode, I unpack why I chose not to watch Channel 4’s The Great ADHD Myth - and why sometimes protecting your peace is more important than having an opinion on everything. I explore the power...

26 Aug 37min

Why Traditional Sleep Advice Fails ADHD & Autistic Children with Michelle Cyril

Why Traditional Sleep Advice Fails ADHD & Autistic Children with Michelle Cyril

For neurodivergent families sleep problems are common, but most traditional sleep strategies simply don't work. Today, a paediatric sleep specialist, Michelle Cyril joins me, to explore why sleep can ...

19 Aug 50min

You Can’t Ignore the Senses: Understanding the Hidden Triggers Behind Some ADHD or Autism Meltdowns with Jacki Edry

You Can’t Ignore the Senses: Understanding the Hidden Triggers Behind Some ADHD or Autism Meltdowns with Jacki Edry

Today, I am joined by Jacki Edry, an autism and neurodiversity advocate with more than 40 years of experience. Jacki shares her journey from volunteering with autistic children as a teenager to suppor...

12 Aug 1h 3min

From Anxiety and Depression to a Monk Sandwich and Himalayan Meditation

From Anxiety and Depression to a Monk Sandwich and Himalayan Meditation

Is your child (or you) living with invisible pain - anxiety, overwhelm, thoughts of not wanting to be here? Do you minimise it because “others have it worse,” are you quietly worried what might happen...

5 Aug 59min

Magpie Minds: Collecting, Obsessing and Regulating in Neurodivergent Kids with OCD

Magpie Minds: Collecting, Obsessing and Regulating in Neurodivergent Kids with OCD

Today we are talking about OCD. For so many of us in neurodivergent families, “OCD” doesn’t look like a TV stereotype. It looks like dishwashers that have to be stacked just so, teddies arranged in in...

29 Jul 33min

What the F*ck Do You Do Next? Non‑Violent Resistance (NVR) for Aggression, School Refusal and Violence with Tyler Baldwin

What the F*ck Do You Do Next? Non‑Violent Resistance (NVR) for Aggression, School Refusal and Violence with Tyler Baldwin

Is your kid aggressive, disruptive, always getting into trouble? Are they labelled defiant, non-compliant, challenging? Do you dread another phone call from school? Wondering what happened this time. ...

22 Jul 50min

10 Seemingly Small Things That Drive Autism & ADHD Families Absolutely Mad

10 Seemingly Small Things That Drive Autism & ADHD Families Absolutely Mad

In this light-hearted episode, Eva and me swap our top 10 annoyances: from phones getting blamed for everything and being talked over, to school rules that don’t make sense, “you’re so lazy” comments,...

15 Jul 41min

When ADHD Meets Addiction: Learning to Step Back from the Edge with Hamish Niven

When ADHD Meets Addiction: Learning to Step Back from the Edge with Hamish Niven

An ADHD brain that’s always on the go can easily push you into a life lived on the edge. You work harder, say yes to more and keep sprinting long after your nervous system is done. Trying to slow down...

8 Jul 49min

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