274 - Codependency and Autonomy in Healthy Relationships with Bret and Chalene Johnson CarSmart Edition
The Chalene Show | Diet, Fitness & Life Balance23 Feb 2018

274 - Codependency and Autonomy in Healthy Relationships with Bret and Chalene Johnson CarSmart Edition

ABOUT TODAY’S SHOW:

The Chalene Show is brought to you by The SmartLife™ PUSH Journal is an all-in-one life planner designed to help you become a highly productive, balanced, goal-crushing machine. www.smartlifepushjournal.com

“I think you two are co-dependent” once said a wise therapist. Bret and I stared back at her in disbelief and denial.

This episode of the Chalene Show includes an unscripted and honest conversation between my husband Bret and I, recapping a recent weekend apart. This is significant because not too many years ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed of suggesting we spend the weekend apart. Today, we are in a better place, our relationship is so much healthier.

Healthy relationships take work! I always feel a little weird when I post something in social media and see that well meaning fans have replied with comments like, #RelationshipGoals or “I wish my relationship was like yours”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to know that people see the relationship that I have with my husband and business partner Bret as inspirational, but I also feel a sense of obligation.

I feel a sense of responsibility to share the true work and progress that has gone into this relationship. While it’s helpful to have relationship role models, it’s unhealthy to use someone else relationship as a measure of the success or potential that your relationship has.

If you’re not getting along, if you struggle to communicate, argue, or just feel disconnected that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, it might simply mean you need to seek outside help.

In this episode, Bret and I talk about how early behaviors in our relationship resulted in some pretty serious codependency patterns.

Codependency can take on many forms. When the term was first used to describe our relationship, I was very defensive. I took to the internet to read up on what it meant to be in an unhealthy relationship. It was easy to find definitions that didn’t seem to fit. But there are degrees of codependency and before long I realized that being defensive about the label, wasn’t going to help us.

Growth is something we should all seek. Growth makes us better. When we are better as individuals or better as a couple, we make the world a better place. We experience greater happiness and fulfillment when we work on being better humans. And yes, growth can be uncomfortable, even painful at times, but it always results in improvement.

Embrace growth. Growth is what courageous people do. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can’t possibly be an expert at everything. Allow a trained individual to help you navigate this process. While friends and family are important sources of support, they are not trained to help you navigate the experiences of your past and help you to process these things.

You and your partner need time together and time apart. You need to be your own autonomous person with your own interests, friends and pursuits. While It’s incredibly beneficial to share these things as a couple, it’s equally important to have things that are just for you. Your happiness and or emotional state should never be defined or determined by the mood, actions, affection or behaviors of your partner.

A healthy individual doesn’t need the approval, assistance, support or love of someone else to feel whole. While it’s human nature to desire these things, they should never define you or make you feel differently about who you are or your significance.

Codependence can take on many forms and can reveal itself in varying degrees, the worst of which can lead to dangerous and destructive patterns.

Instead of dismissing the notion, consider speaking to a trained professional and seek the counsel of those trained to help you be a better you!!

Thanks for listening! I love you!

Links from today’s episode:

Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com

Get the 131 Book!!!

Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com

Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!

Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!

Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!!

Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!

Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast

Connect with me on your fav social platform:

Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie!

XOXO Chalene

Episoder(1000)

Calorie Counting Myths and Misconceptions - 287

Calorie Counting Myths and Misconceptions - 287

When it comes to weight loss, do calories matter? And who created the concept of a calorie? How accurate are calories counts in popular apps, food packaging and on that treadmill at the gym? Most Health and fitness professionals would have us believe exercising more and eating fewer calories equals simple weight loss. And you know what? It often does! But ultimately over 95% of people gain that weight back and then some. So is that a success? Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

26 Mar 201831min

How To Review your 90 Day Plan - 286

How To Review your 90 Day Plan - 286

In this episode Chalene is going to take a look back at the last 90 days. And talk about the importance of taking time to reflect and review. Find out how you did, what you had intended to do, where you missed the mark and all the things you accomplished that you should be celebrating. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

23 Mar 201821min

The Declutter Project Top 10 Habits To Maintain Organization Part 4 - 285

The Declutter Project Top 10 Habits To Maintain Organization Part 4 - 285

YAY!! Part 4 of the De-Clutter Project is here!! If you have not listen to Part 1, 2 & 3 its probably best you go back and listen, but if you have not that’s ok you will still get a so much information from Part 4!! So lets talk habits. Habits are a way of making our life easier. When something is a habit you just do it. You don’t have to over think it you just do it mindlessly. Habits give you rewards. In this episode Chalene gives you the steps to create habits. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

21 Mar 201834min

The De-Clutter Project|Systems to Stay Organized - Part 3 - 284

The De-Clutter Project|Systems to Stay Organized - Part 3 - 284

Its Here!!! Part 3 of the De-Clutter Project!! If you have not listened to Part 1 and 2 please go back and listen now. Those episodes are essential if you want to do this in the right order. One of the common traits successful people have is they are organized and we can all benefit from being more organized and getting rid of the clutter. In this episode Chalene shares with you the systems you need to set up that will help you to become more successful in your every day life. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

19 Mar 201836min

The De-Clutter Project Part 2 - 283

The De-Clutter Project Part 2 - 283

Clutter is a major problem in our lives, bigger than you probably even realize. This is Part 2 of The De-clutter Project. How does clutter affect you? How does it make you feel? Does it slow you down? Can you ignore it and go about your day. Does it have an impact on your life? Chalene took those questions to her listeners and asked them to weigh in on how clutter makes them feel and what affect it has on their lives. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

18 Mar 201835min

The De-clutter Project Part 1 - 282

The De-clutter Project Part 1 - 282

This episode is the first in a series all about de-cluttering your clutter. It is said that we learn our organizational skills from our parents. In Chalene’s case she found this to be true, and all the clutter started to really stress her out. The clutter that is everywhere in your life stays present and active in your subconscious mind. It can cause stress, anxiety and sometimes in some cases it can lead to depression. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

17 Mar 201819min

How to Make Time for Health when You Have No Time - 281

How to Make Time for Health when You Have No Time - 281

This is another Car Smart Edition!! Recorded live on the fly from Chalene’s car!! Today Chalene answers the questions she gets all the time. How do you find the time to do things you should be doing for your health? Or how did you find the time to workout when you had small children and building a business? Chalene breaks down what she considers to be her best health practices. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

16 Mar 201818min

Make Your Money Grow with Bret Johnson - 280

Make Your Money Grow with Bret Johnson - 280

Don't worry Part 3 of The De-Clutter Project is coming very soon!! In the meantime please enjoy this episode featuring Chalene's husband Bret Johnson!!  In this episode Chalene's husband, and CFO of Smart Life Inc Bret Johnson takes over the podcast to share his best financial practices. Bret shares with you six easily applicable tips to help you increase your earning potential, decreased spending and create the financial future you desire. Stop dieting & start living: www.131Method.com   Get the 131 Book!!!   Here’s The System I Use Every Day to be More Organized & Crazy Productive: www.pushjournal.com   Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!  Spotify Itunes  Stitcher    Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!! Spotify  Itunes Stitcher      Join our NEW, awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!   Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast    Connect with me on your fav social platform: SnapChat: ChaleneOfficial    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene      Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson   Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #TheChaleneShow so I know you’re a homie! XOXO Chalene

14 Mar 201838min

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