We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and an executive coach in Silicon Valley where he serves people who have achieved all the big trophies of the world; money, status, possessions, power, and some of them, fame. And yet they are coming to him for help. Why? After all these years, he’s written a book to culminate the primary problem he sees. Lack of true connection. We are all out there trying to win the world, and in the process, we neglect our soul. We neglect the primary thing that gives us true joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Connection. This may seem elementary but so are most of the great truths of life. Adam finds there are four key areas of connection that we are missing and it’s taking the joy out of everything else; connection with yourself, others, the world, and something greater. But you can’t just hear that list and fix things. You need to understand what connection really is and how to go about achieving it, because we are all lacking connection to varying degrees and we don’t understand why. Which is why I had Dr Adam Dorsay come onto the show. I wanted to know more for myself, and as you’re about to hear, discussing connect with Adam opened my eyes more, especially in regards to my connection with myself, which is the most common thread of all my research on the human condition. Adam’s book is called Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love. He also has a podcast of the same name, Super Psyched, that you can check out. I invite you to join me as I talk with Dr Adam Dorsay about how we can better understand and achieve the greatest asset for our lives, connection. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Mar 1h 25min

You may well know of Nick Vujicic (voo-uh-chich), a famous personality with no arms and no legs. He has an incredible message which you’re about to hear. I’m bringing this episode back because of something Tom Ziglar, who was with me when I talked with Nick, said at a later date as we were discussing confidence. He referenced Nick, saying here is a guy with no arms or legs. He is the most physically vulnerable of just about anyone. And yet he seems to be more confident than almost everyone. I never forgot the sentiment and found myself pondering it again lately after I suffered a loss and was considering my own confidence. I’ll let you think on that while you hear us talk with Nick about challenges. Nick shares that just because someone else’s challenges might seem bigger, it doesn’t negate our own. We all want to know how to deal with them better. With more joy, peace and success. Nick is one of the most sought after speakers on the planet, often getting 100 speaking requests per week because he’s one of the most overcoming, inspirational people you will have ever heard. Tens of millions follow him on social media, and his Youtube videos have literally hundreds of million of views. But it’s real world stuff folks. He almost committed suicide. This isn’t some pollyanna face on hardship. HEre is the conversation Tom Ziglar and I had with Nick. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Feb 57min

I want to talk through looking at probable threads for looking at some of your propensities. I’ve long been interested, and critical, of personality profiles. How much can I know who I truly am, in regards to how I’ve been programmed, even genetically? I’ve continued to try and understand myself in relation to my nature, and my nurture. Which I used to only relate to my conscious existence, but have learned I must consider my genetics as well. Especially after adopting children from a different culture and seeing this play out. This is a continuation of thought from my conversation with psychologist, and professor, Mariel Buqué in the last episode where we talked through the message in her book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Feb 19min

That statement I would have not uttered in my past. I don’t align with blaming, accusing, making excuses, and giving any power to anyone but myself. But, I’m changing my tune, thanks to my guest today. If someone runs a red light and smashes into my car, breaking my leg, I am ok to blame them for my broken leg. And admitting I now have a broken leg and can’t go run the next day. It would be dumb to blame myself or to deny the car wreck and sit around perplexed as to why my leg is broken, or blame myself for what…driving through a green light? Recognizing what happened helps me keep myself sane. Then of course, the event is over. I have a broken leg. I was in a car crash. It’s solely up to me to deal with it. To try and heal the leg. To work through the wreck so I don’t have PTSD with driving. My expert guest on this issue is Mariel Buqué. Mariel is a PhD and a Columbia University–trained trauma-informed psychologist, and professor. She has appeared as an expert on Good Morning America and Today and many other outlets, and has offered wellness talks to corporations such as Google, Capital One, and Meta. She is originally from the Dominican Republic and currently lives in New Jersey. I caught up with her recently while she was in Trinidad, to talk about the message in her new book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. I feel this message is important and very useful for us all, because we all have things that happened to our ancestors that affect us.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Feb 1h 23min

As a culture, especially amongst aspiring people, we look at willpower like it’s a tool. Like a hammer. It’s late in the evening, you have a hankering for a snack, so just go get your hammer. Willpower. And smack that desire down. But how often can we not seem to find the hammer when we need it most? There is a reason. Your willpower is not a hammer. It’s more like your phone and all day the battery is draining. So often when you go to use it, you’ve fully depleted it. So what do you do? That’s why I’m bringing back one of the shows I refer to so, so often. Ben Hardy wrote his first book, Why Willpower Doesn’t Work, and it became a classic. I’ve had him on my show 4 or 5 times and he’s the lead story in my book, What Drives You. Ben has a PhD in organizational psychology and has written many bestselling books at this point. I’m a fan, as I feel he gets to root issues of problems we all experience. The following conversation will forever change how you view your willpower, and it will equip you to better save your willpower, and construct your environment so you don’t even have to rely on it. Find Ben anywhere at BenjaminHardy. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Feb 59min

My most recent show was with heavy metal front man, Randy Blythe, who started his music career in the punk rock movement, rebelling against the system. In his new book,  Just Beyond the Light: Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head, he talks candidly and humbly about how he now regrets his polarized positions, and today questions his positions rigorously, with a lot more grace for all sides. It’s impacted me to have a guy who so raged against the machine, now have such a new perspective. And has me thinking about all of us. How wrapped up are we against the culture and all the “stupid” and evil people. Is this stance helping us? Is it even true and valid? I question it. Maybe you do too. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Feb 18min

Randy Blythe is the lead singer and songwriter for the heavy metal band, Lamb of God. He writes and sings, you might call it yelling...even growling, very angry, aggressive, and dark music. He has the sordid past you would expect. Severe alcoholism. Jail time for manslaughter charges. You might be surprised, or not, that he's the son of a Southern Baptist pastor. And Randy has just written his second book, called Just Beyond the Light: Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head. I was sent an advanced copy of the book and I found Randy to be an incredibly introspective, insightful and intellectually sober individual who I resonated with significantly. His music career started in punk rock and was very political and rebelling against society. Today however, Randy readily admits the one-sided judgement of it all. He says, “If something is worth believing in…a political, religious or humanitarian position…surely it should withstand rigorous examination from a rational, educated observer with critical thinking.” He goes on to say, “If you are unwilling to question your own beliefs and just accept them at face value…you are driven by fear." He shares that he finally realized, "his own head was lying to him" and the war inside his head and the incessant conflict was just his daily, constantly shifting perception of reality. I feel this is the war in all of our heads, and it’s where my primary interest as of late is. Following is my conversation with Randy to dig into his experience and discuss our shared views on perception and reality. I found Randy incredibly thoughtful and humble, and am going to join him in Denver in a couple weeks during his national Spoken Word tour to get to know each other more. You can check out his book, Just Beyond the Light, and find him by searching for Randy Blythe. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Feb 1h 20min

I adore music. It moves me like few other things in existence. There was a time when my family and I watched America’s Got Talent, and it was the breakout singers that we most enjoyed. You may remember Mandy Harvey. Mandy was in college pursuing a vocal music education degree, then lost her hearing. She left the program to pursue other career options, but later returned to music. She ultimately landed on America’s Got Talent where she reached the finals and was Simon Cowell’s Golden Buzzer Winner. From there, CNN showcased Mandy on their Great Big Story and captured over 10 million hits on social media, Burt’s Bees signed her up for their “Remarkable Women” campaign, NBC Nightly News profiled her, and she went on to perform at the world’s most prestigious clubs, concert stages and festivals. Mandy then wrote a book titled, Sensing The Rhythm, Finding My Voice In a World Without Sound. The book landed on my desk and in it I found a message of helping others to realize their dreams and pursue their hopes, no matter what. I invited Mandy onto my show and following I bring back an incredibly inspiring conversation about pursuing your dreams, in spite of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, like being a singer…who goes deaf. Find her anywhere, just type in Mandy Harvey. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Join millions of Americans reaching their financial goals—starting at just $3/month! Get $25 towards your first stock purchase at get.stash.com/DRIVE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Feb 48min