We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” This is the quote by Holocaust survivor Viktor E Frankl that headlines a new book titled, Dealing With Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want. The book comes from my guest in this episode, Marc Brackett. Mark is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center, Yale School of Medicine at Yale University. Marcs research for over 25 years has focused on the role of emotions and emotional intelligence in learning, decision making, creativity, relationships, health, and performance. The quote from Viktor Frankl that came from his time in a concentration camp, and that Marc has devoted his life to, is saying that no matter what happens to us, we get to choose how we respond. And my experience of humanity is that no matter what happens to them, even great traumas, tragedies, and victimizations, what harms them more than the incident or event is how they conceive of it and how they respond. My concern is that culturally we have come into a place where we don’t believe this. We feel it is our right and it’s just, to respond to pain, with pain. And to say otherwise is actually offensive. Looking at the mental health stats these days, I don’t think this perspective is working. This is the conversation you’re about to hear with Marc Brackett. Marc previously authored the bestselling book, Permission To Feel and most recently, along with Pinterest co-founder Ben Silbermann, Marc and his team co-created the Apple award-winning app, HowWeFeel, that was designed to teach emotion skills and enhance well-being. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(1641)

8 Understandings Of The Stoic Way To Find Harmony In A World Of Chaos| 4  Lessons from Tanner Campbell with Kevin Miller

8 Understandings Of The Stoic Way To Find Harmony In A World Of Chaos| 4 Lessons from Tanner Campbell with Kevin Miller

In our series on stoicism, I kept coming back to the aspect of control. Controlling our emotions. Controlling our reactions. Controlling our internal world so as to not be controlled by the outer world. ⁣ ⁣ It’s a valid perspective, but then I was reminded that I don’t actually want control any more than I want money. I just want what money can hopefully buy. Likewise, I just want what control can hopefully afford me. And the word that surfaced was…harmony. ⁣ ⁣ I often find myself saying I want peace, but I struggle with that sounding like I just want life to be easy and stress free, which is not the case. I want the trials and challenges that are so fulfilling to overcome. I want the hero story. But within the ups and down, I want to feel a balance and a rhythm I understand, which is what harmony is. ⁣ ⁣ A definition of harmony I greatly appreciate is, an interweaving of different accounts into a single narrative. Our daily life in this world is made up of different accounts of so many things. The stoic way of life is a life devoted to a commitment to a single narrative amongst all those accounts. ⁣ ⁣ But don’t get caught up in the word stoic. It is an example of a clarified and committed mindset and way of life. You don’t have to give it a name, but to find success you will want to decide upon your own way of life and have it clearly defined. ⁣ ⁣ June 15-16 of 2023 I’ll be in Dallas to attend and speak at the Ziglar coach summit, alongside Tom Ziglar. If you are looking to influence people for the better, professionally or personally, I invite you to join us. First 10 people who register and say you heard about it from me, I’m taking to dinner! Go to ziglar.com/coachsummit⁣ Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Apr 202318min

The Value of Virtue & Why To Decide On A Chosen Way Of Life | 3 Discussing Tanner Campbell with Tom Ziglar

The Value of Virtue & Why To Decide On A Chosen Way Of Life | 3 Discussing Tanner Campbell with Tom Ziglar

What’s the difference between a hero and a villain? Virtue. Which is defined as, “Behavior showing high moral standards.” Having a purpose for good as opposed to evil, or even just others as opposed to self alone. We love the character who is resolute upon doing the right thing and seeing it through no matter what. ⁣ ⁣ We spend billions of dollars on superhero stories that depict this. People didn’t tear up at the end of The Avengers: Endgame when Ironman dies just because a battle is won. It’s because it was a battle for good. ⁣ ⁣ We’ve been studying stoicism which is based on virtue, and from this, a decided way of life. In truth it’s the rare individual who actually outlines and commits to a clarified way of life. I feel most people want to be good, and at heart, they are. But without intention we go about our days being swayed by the culture and circumstances. ⁣ ⁣ This is part three of my series on Tanner Campbell and his rapidly growing podcast, Practical Stoicism. People are flocking to it and I believe this is why; they are longing for meaning, purpose, and to know what they are about. Stoicism is just that, knowing what you are about. ⁣ ⁣ I invited Tom Ziglar to discuss this with me. Tom is son of Zig Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar Inc., and renowned author, speaker and coach. And my dear friend. The Ziglar way is just that, a decided way of life. One of virtue, honor, trust, and faith. ⁣ ⁣ Right at the beginning Tom quips that after hearing my initial talk with Tanner, he now feels, “He’s a stoic and he didn’t know it.” We talk about living out virtue, faith, religion, self-control, and integrity. Tom also discusses five aspects of trust, which we both believe is our greatest asset. ⁣ The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance.⁣ Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Apr 202359min

How To Build Character The Stoic Way | 2 Tanner Campbell Q&A

How To Build Character The Stoic Way | 2 Tanner Campbell Q&A

Each of us is waking up every day and engaging in a “way of life.” It’s either one we’ve chosen, or one we’ve allowed ourselves to fall into. Though in truth, none of us ever lives a perfect day, so we are all then on the spectrum of living how we intentionally want and living at the mercy of our appetites and ignorance. The more aware, decided, and convicted we are to a way of life we uphold and are dedicated to, the more we will fall on the healthier side of the spectrum. ⁣ ⁣ As Tanner Campbell and I discussed at the outset of our initial talk together in episode 1143, stoicism can be said to be a state of mind, but in this episode as we are discussing Tanner’s personal efforts to live a stoic life, we unwrap the pursuit of an aspiring way of life. This is my values, motives and habits episode, part 2 of this series on Tanner Campbell and stoicism. ⁣ ⁣ Tanner Campbell is an American philosopher of Stoicism whose goal is to clear up contemporary miscommunications about Stoicism, with a focus to uphold what virtue is. He shares this daily in his Practical Stoicism podcast which has quickly catapulted to the top podcast rankings. Here Tanner talks through his pursuit of Hierocles concept of “circles of concern” which radiates outward, from family to friends, community, non-human animals, and the environment. ⁣ ⁣ In Tanner’s desire for personal awareness his mantra is asking, “What does this action or thought say about my character,” and “Who can I walk alongside and be helpful to in a meaningful way?” In discussing health and wellness, Tanner cites this area is not his strong suit, but his motive is in asking himself, “If I don’t care about my health, what does it say about my character?” This and more coming up. ⁣ ⁣ The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. ⁣ ⁣ June 15-16 of 2023 I’ll be in Dallas to attend and speak at the Ziglar coach summit. If you are looking to influence people for the better, professionally or personally, I invite you to join us. First 10 people who register and say you heard about it from me, I’m taking to dinner! Go to ziglar.com/coachsummit⁣ Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Apr 202354min

How To Vacation | Functional Friday

How To Vacation | Functional Friday

Ah. The vacation. Or a holiday, depending on where you’re from. It’s supposed to be a term that makes us all smile and feel warm, nostalgic, and hopeful. However, many of you will feel a bit, or a lot, of anxiety at hearing the term. And rightly so. ⁣ ⁣ Vacation has been part of life for a long time to give us a rest from the toil of everyday life. Even if you love your work it is beneficial to get away to rest and recreate. But a listener wrote in recently asking for ideas, as he recently got back from vacation and felt he wasted it. Many of us struggle with needing a vacation from our vacations because they were exciting, but exhausting. ⁣ ⁣ This is my Functional Friday episode and I’m with Randy James, medical doctor and functional medicine expert, and he and I ultimately zeroed in on three different types of vacations that all have benefits, but the value is in understanding what you are getting into and what to expect, and thus what you can do to prepare and get the most out of your vacations, so you do in fact, look forward to and benefit from them. ⁣ Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Apr 202353min

7 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Your Enneagram | 4 Lessons from Ian Morgan Cron with Kevin Miller

7 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Your Enneagram | 4 Lessons from Ian Morgan Cron with Kevin Miller

There are many personality profiles you can use. Knowing your type does not by proxy…help you. You need to know how to utilize it. This is part 4 of our series on Ian Morgan Cron and his insight and guidance into the Enneagram personality assessment.  In this episode, I’m going to cover 7 aspects of our discussion that have really stuck out to me and seem to be resonating with other listeners. I want to quote something I read this morning by dandapani in his book, “The Power Of Unwavering Focus”, which I’m studying in preparation for having him on the show tomorrow, he cited a mentor of his, Michael Lutzenkirchen, who said, “While I appear as a teacher to you, I'm a student of the subject. And I hope it always stays that way.”  I greatly appreciate this, and in truth, I feel the best teachers are those who are, and understand they are, still students. Always students. It’s from this the greatest teaching comes. I of course recommend Ian Cron’s books. His recent book is The Story Of You and was the impetus for this series. His initial book is called “The Road Back To You” and seven years after initial publication the book is still in the top 1,000 rankings in Amazon. That is rock star status.  You can read the books and get a great understanding of what Enneagram number you are. Or…go take the assessment. Ian has it at  typologyinstitute.com, just click on iEQ9 at the top of the page. And you can use the discount code SELFHELP to receive 20% off a monthly or annual subscription which provides access to all 3 of his courses on how to harness the Enneagram.  The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar. Join me June 15-16 of 2023 in Dallas for the Ziglar coach summit. If you are looking to influence people for the better, professionally or personally, I invite you to join us. First 10 people who register and say you heard about it from me, I’m taking to dinner! Go to ziglar.com/coachsummit Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Apr 202320min

Stoicism - Self-Awareness & Not Letting External Forces Control Your Reality | 1 Tanner Campbell

Stoicism - Self-Awareness & Not Letting External Forces Control Your Reality | 1 Tanner Campbell

What is reality? Is there a reality? We would say a tree falling on your house, or inheriting twenty million dollars are objective realities. They actually did happen. Those would be facts. But it’s our perception and interpretation of them that matter. That becomes our reality. Are those events good or bad? Why did they happen? ⁣ ⁣ Stoicism is interested in our impression and assent, which I paraphrase to say our interpretation and ensuing belief. Then Stoicism would ask what our role and responsibility are. The topic and concept of stoicism has gained popularity as of late but I haven’t given it a focus here on the show. Now…we hit it. Or to be fair, we hit one tangent of it. There are others and I’ll be looking to have more discussion around the topic in coming episodes. ⁣ ⁣ For this series, I’ve brought on Tanner Campbell. Tanner is an American philosopher of Stoicism whose goal is to clear up contemporary miscommunications about Stoicism, with a focus to uphold what virtue is, against some traditional interpretations of Stoicism, and as Tanner says, “Challenge the watered down Silicon Valley take.” ⁣ ⁣ Of relevance, it was only 15 months ago when Tanner launched his podcast, called, Practical Stoicism. The show has “gone viral” as they say, and has already eclipsed 500,000 downloads per month and is growing rapidly. Which is to say the show has done in 15 months what it took me many, many years to achieve. At this rate it will likely become the top one or two podcasts on stoicism on planet Earth in the next year. ⁣ ⁣ A note, stoicism, like AA, has a primary spiritual component to it. I wasn’t shy in pressing in on this with Tanner. Not to advocate it, as it doesn’t line up with my personal faith either, but to do an honest unpacking of it. You are free to adopt what feels useful to you. The core principles of stoicism I feel we would all do well to engage with, and that’s the focus of our show. ⁣ ⁣ The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance.⁣ Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Apr 20231h 24min

Discover Your Real Yet Expertly Fluid Personality Style | 3 Discussing Ian Morgan Cron with Jared Angaza

Discover Your Real Yet Expertly Fluid Personality Style | 3 Discussing Ian Morgan Cron with Jared Angaza

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗬𝗲𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗙𝗹𝘂𝗶𝗱 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲 | 𝗜𝗮𝗻 𝗖𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝟯 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗝𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗮𝘇𝗮⁣ ⁣ We all want to know who and what we are. We want to understand ourselves so we can understand this world we live in. Our tendency is to label ourselves as this personality style or that personality style, just as we seek out genetic testing to know where we came from. We want clarity. ⁣ ⁣ We’ve been talking about the Enneagram after having expert Ian Morgan Cron on the show and discussing his book, The Story of You: An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self. This is part three where I bring on a co-host who has experience in the topic, and I invited Jared Angaza on the show. ⁣ ⁣ Most of you have heard Jared on here before and every time I have him on I get feedback on how people are touched by his heart and insight. Jared is the brand architect behind many influencers and as of late, many of the leading space industry organizations like Space for Humanity. And he’s now partner here with me on the Self-Helpful podcast. ⁣ ⁣ He’s also…my brother. Full blood brother, the last name is different because…he changed it. He did so to adopt an identity he wanted to embrace, which is much the reason for this episode. Becoming aware of, understanding, and harnessing the beauty of your personality in order to, as the slogan of this show says, elevate your personal experience of life, and the way you show up for others. A slogan Jared wrote, by the way. ⁣ ⁣ In here we get into the Enneagram and Jared shares how we can be our authentic selves, and in this case, know our primary Enneagram type, and also understand how to fluidly flow into other types, as in essence, all the types live within us, even as we have a type or two that are our natural design. Listen in and you’ll find inspiration in knowing who and how you are and how to wield your authentic self in broader and deeper ways. ⁣ ⁣ The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance.⁣ Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Apr 20231h 13min

How To Get Actual Recharging Sleep | Functional Friday

How To Get Actual Recharging Sleep | Functional Friday

We want our sleep to be like plugging our phone in overnight. You plug it in when the battery is low and wake to find it fully charged, energy-filled and ready for a quality day. ⁣ ⁣ Don’t you want to be the same? Go to bed and wake up fully charged? But is that happening for you? Do you ever sleep through the night only to wake unrested and not...fully charged? ⁣ ⁣ There is a lot of content out about sleep, but I hear most of it focused on actually getting to sleep, staying asleep, and getting enough sleep. But we find people going to sleep fairly quickly, getting 8 hours of sleep, but waking up…tired. ⁣ ⁣ And they fight exhaustion during the day. Other symptoms are anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Struggles with making decisions, critical and creative thinking . ⁣ ⁣ The question is...how is your sleep? Is it actually recharging you? Let’s talk about it and look at how to know and how to get what you need. ⁣ ⁣ The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance.⁣ Get free chicken nuggets for a Year and 10% off your first box when you sign up today at butcherbox.com/SELFHELPFUL and use code SELFHELPFUL. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Get 20% off the entire InsideTracker store when you sign up at insidetracker.com/HELPFUL. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Apr 20231h 13min

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