We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

Series wrap up on Andy Norman and his book, Mental Immunity. Here I bring on my frequent co-host, Tom Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar and son to Zig Ziglar, to talk about this concept of how we view our beliefs. What came out on the discussion was a question of what is more important. Our beliefs, or relationships? In our culture now that is arguing and polarizing about beliefs, what we most have is just a fight from two warring sides. And how similar is it often in our personal relationships? No one is considering the other, they are just arguing their side. Without putting the relationship first, it’s hard to find validity for even making an effort. We lead off discussing a Facebook post Tom made after listening to my initial talk with Andy in episodes 1033, where Tom said, "To reject unconditional love is to embrace hate." Think about that? As you’re about to hear, this was from talking about how we view and fight for our beliefs. You’ll want to hear more and see how you feel about the statement. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Aug 202255min

I’m back with Andy Norman to walk through his personal values, motives, and habits in the key areas of life fulfillment so we can hear what has driven and does drive him to help us create mental immunity and consider our beliefs, and design a life that fulfills him. Previously in episode 1033 we talked about the message in Andy’s book,  Mental Immunity: Infectious Ideas, Mind-Parasites, and the Search for a Better Way to Think. Andy is striving to help people develop immunity to bad ideas, and my focus with him was looking at how we define and embrace our beliefs. Here we cover Andy’s personal values and habits. The very things from which his own beliefs are derived from. He discusses how he sifts his own ideas through a filter of asking if it’s actually useful or true. Relationally he talks about “emotional dislocation” and we banter a bit about the issue of “objective reality.” Spiritually he cites his upbringing simply expected a devotion to serve a greater good and this still guides him today. You can find Andy’s book Mental Immunity anywhere and connect with him at andynorman.org. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Aug 202244min

I have a story for you. A case study of health turnaround and success for you. Dan Miller is the bestselling author of “48 Days To The Work You Love” and a prolific writer, speaker and coach. However at the end of 2018 at age 71 he found himself barely able to work. He shares the incredible amount of resources he sought for help, including his Primary Care Physician simply stating, “Hey, you’re getting old, make peace with it.” Today he is back to more energy, vitality and overall wellness than he’s experienced in many years. He said, “I didn’t simply get back to where I was before my decline, I’ve far surpassed it.” As you’ll hear in the show, he’s now excitedly finalizing two new books for his publisher and planning out the next 20 years of his productive life. It’s no miracle. It’s just the basics. It’s the things you can do too. Now at age 72, I’d pit his cognitive abilities and much of his physical abilities as well, against the average 50 year old. I believe you’ll relate to much of what you’ll hear in this candid conversation between Dan, Dr Randy James, and myself, as you found out…how Dan did it. What the story is.. And for disclosure, Dan is my Dad! Many of you will know him from his top ranked “48 Days” podcast. You can find him at 48days.com. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Aug 20221h 4min

I grew up with very strong beliefs and I viewed being resolute and concrete in them as a strength. In our culture today we see this played out every moment of every day as the media pits one side against the other and everyone’s belief as right or wrong, even to the point of the other side as being flat out evil. Social media isn’t a place of consideration, but of unabashed opinionating. In this episode I’m with Andy Norman, a PhD who is the award-winning author of Mental Immunity: Infectious Ideas, Mind-Parasites, and the Search for a Better Way to Think. His work has appeared in Scientific American, Psychology Today, Skeptic, Free Inquiry, and The Humanist. He has appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience, public radio, and The BBC’s Naked Scientist. His research is on the emerging science of mental immunity as the antidote to disinformation, propaganda, hate, and division. Bottom line, Andy is striving to help people develop immunity to bad ideas. My focus is really on the harm we do to ourselves and others when we are so rigid in our beliefs we won’t consider anyone who differs. Andy showcases how many, if not most of our beliefs, are more tied to our self-image than truth, and how this hurts us and everyone else. It’s ok to have strong beliefs, but if you feel strong in them and it’s not just to support your personal bias, then wouldn’t you be strong enough to allow someone to explain their differing beliefs and actually seek to understand them? Even if you don’t change your belief, you are showcasing it by being willing to understand another side. And in doing so, you’ll help your own peace of mind and build better relationships. Andy directs the Humanism Initiative at Carnegie Mellon University and is the founder of CIRCE, the Cognitive Immunology Research Collaborative. You can find him at andynorman.org. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Aug 20221h 10min

Wrapping up my series on Terry Real and the message of his book, US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. I’m with my co-host Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert and you’re about to hear a very candid discussion on this concept of being we, without losing me. Randy listened to my conversation with Terry in episode 1029 and came into the discussion with his own insights, questions, and grapplings. We hit on some big issues, like the wedding tradition of each person having a candle, lighting one candle in the middle, then blowing out their individual candle. Is that really the intended idea of marriage? And do you come into union with anyone so they “complete you” as the Jerry Maguire movie celebrated? Are you not to be complete on your own? Randy and I have been best friends for nearly a decade and partnered in multiple business endeavors and much of this US concept is relevant for our relationship, and we also bring in parenting to this US concept. I’m eager for you to hear this conversation and would be honored to hear your feedback. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Aug 20221h 14min

Your personal relationships are likely to make or break you. This is our Functional Friday episode and we are finishing out the four foundational pillars of Functional Medicine with the third episode on Relationships. In episode 1025 we talked about the vital relationship between your body and mind. In episode 1028, the relationship you have with yourself and the world through hope and purpose, faith in essence. Here then we land on your relationship with - other people. I think we all realize to a great degree the positive and negative affect relational health or lack thereof has in our lives. But from a medical standpoint and literal pathologies of body and mind, nothing could be less mainstream. If a stressful marriage and your anxiety, anger, or despair is eating away at you and causing you physical and mental abilities, chances are 99.9% that any traditional medical doctor will never ask, address or uncover the root issue but will treat the symptom with a pharmaceutical. And that is exactly what medical school trains them to do. It’s what they trained my co-host Dr. James to do. So you’re left taking a drug to mask and manage a symptom that you have no idea is being caused by relational strife. We have dramatically impacting relationships in our family, friends, co-workers, employees, business partners and more. Great exercise and good nutrition and solid sleep will help you withstand challenging relationships, but ultimately negative relationships will take down even the mightiest of men. And women. So how does it really affect you and what can you do about it? This is our show, right here. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Aug 202250min

I’m back with internationally renowned family therapist Terry Real to walk through his personal values, motives, and habits in the key areas of life fulfillment so we can hear what has driven and does drive him to devote his life and livelihood to helping us have better relationships, with ourselves and others, and what he does to design a life that fulfills him. If you listened to our first discussion together, you heard some of Terry's traumatic childhood. In this talk he discusses relational practices and struggles with his wife, enduring two bouts with cancer, how even into his 50s he loathed himself. And now what he does to help him hold himself tenderly and his testimony that today it's really pleasant to live in his skin. For some reason Terry delivers his insights in a way that is so incredibly humble and real, and I can relate to. He has such understanding and compassionate counsel. And he's a great storyteller, and you'll hear some great ones here. His new book again that I am wholeheartedly endorsing it US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Get it anywhere, and find him at terryreal.com where he has courses and classes and incredibly valuable resources to take advantage of and benefit from, immediately. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Aug 202246min

I’ve been fairly candid about my own, ongoing work with counselors, historically, and today. My current counselor really got deep with me into my relationship with myself and recommended a book called “​​I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression,” by a therapist named Terry Real. I got it and read it and it opened up a whole new level of understanding myself. Terry just recently put out a book called US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. My therapist got it and right away said, “Kevin, I want you to get this book.” I did. It revealed aspects of how I behave unhealthfully in relationships that are nothing less than revolutionary for my life. As an individual, spouse, parent, and more. And bigger picture, how we culturally live as “you and me” and individuals when the bedrock of our being is relational and us. It will either wow you as it did me, or you’ll have to fully dismiss it. And I don’t think you will. I then went to find out who this guy is and found this book US was was published by Goop press, which is founded and owned by famed actress and client of Terry’s, Gwynyth Paltrow. Same with actor Bradley Cooper who emphatically endorses Terry. But then people like famed psychotherapists Esther Perel and Lori Gottliev I find are touting Terry and this book us. And interestingly, the forward is from one of Terry’s patients. The forward alone rocked my world. It’s by a singer you may have heard of. Bruce Springsteen. But it’s not the celebrity component that impresses me, it’s the humble and heartfelt words they shared about their life changes. Bruce said, “At age thirty two I hit an emotional wall and realized I was lost in a deep dark forest, largely of my own making without a map. So began forty years of trying to find my way through the shadowed trees, down to the river of a sustaining life. Terry Real has been a guide and this book is a map through those trees. I agree. I wanted to share Terry with you, so this episode is part one of my discussion with him. Find him at terryreal.com. Self-Help(ful) is presented by Ziglar, the most trusted brand in personal and business development impacting over 250 million people worldwide. Visit Ziglar.com to see how they can inspire your true performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Aug 20221h 11min