Own-goal flavours, casual retirements & football clubs as sperm counts
Football Cliches13 Okt 2025

Own-goal flavours, casual retirements & football clubs as sperm counts

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Lee Dixon invents some new "goalkeeper's not saving that" hyperbole, Sean Dyche's potential new job, the difference between "comedy" and "bizarre" own goals, poor cricket knowledge in Stephen King novels, the Daily Mail's "Champagne Socialists XI", footballers who forget to officially retire, tenuous footballspeak in microwave adverts and Duncan Ferguson's insight into the obsessive mind of a goalscorer. Meanwhile, the panel reflect on the live tour so far, including a glorious sold-out night at the Hackney Empire. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com The Football Clichés Live tour continues - get your tickets here: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(308)

Co-commentator voice ID & performatively not interfering with play: The listeners' loves & hates

Co-commentator voice ID & performatively not interfering with play: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. ...

23 Sep 54min

35.3% of Earth's land mass, Mourinho's printer & Martin Tyler's five-decade challenge

35.3% of Earth's land mass, Mourinho's printer & Martin Tyler's five-decade challenge

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: More Drurian delivery from Australian football commentary, a geographically earth-shattering MLS f...

21 Sep 53min

The Football Cliches Quiz XXVI: Cliches vs The Listeners

The Football Cliches Quiz XXVI: Cliches vs The Listeners

The 26th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on trivia-savvy listeners Pat Noone, Sam Huxley and Jonny Sharples. The questions include: Premier League Chrisses, ma...

17 Sep 1h 27min

Offside contamination, yards of confidence & Drury's Down Under doppelganger

Offside contamination, yards of confidence & Drury's Down Under doppelganger

LONDON LIVE QUIZ - TICKETS ON GENERAL SALE WEDNESDAY 16TH - ⁠quiz.footballcliches.com⁠ Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the fal...

14 Sep 58min

Late doors, John McGinn's trademark finish & accidental commentary football chants

Late doors, John McGinn's trademark finish & accidental commentary football chants

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dean Saunders continues his intermittent campaign against modern football terminology, tinpot sce...

10 Sep 47min

Cliches Live in the sunshine, the Mike Dean content machine & ASMR in the EFL

Cliches Live in the sunshine, the Mike Dean content machine & ASMR in the EFL

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reflections on a superb afternoon at the Cliches live show, Tom Cruise deploys the football plura...

7 Sep 43min

The washed Sky Sports News, Horlicks FC & the Transfers That Feel So Right XI

The washed Sky Sports News, Horlicks FC & the Transfers That Feel So Right XI

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the agonising death of Sky Sports News on deadline day, whether a player can have a “knack” for s...

3 Sep 53min

Vomiting footballers & 30 years of the electronic sub board: The listeners' loves & hates

Vomiting footballers & 30 years of the electronic sub board: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Amo...

31 Aug 39min

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